This is all new and different. Caught my wife at hotel and confronted afterward. She admitted affair. I have been calm and told her I take this as a wakeup call. She is agreeing (so far) to work through this and says has broken-off. I am extremely reluctant to believe. Every fibre of me wants to confront this person and/or tell his wife what is going on. Any suggestions or experiences? If you are here, you know the pain. I want to "even the score". Make sure this guy KNOWS I know about him. Give him back some of the pain he has "facilitated" in my life. And least of all, force him to be honest with HIS wife. I have tried dealing with this at my wife's stated face value, but I cannot convince myself that it is over, or even that she has let OM know that I know what's going on. Any help?

OK, wed - what you are thinking of should be considered by any one in your situation. But not necessarily for the same reason you're thinking of.<p>It sounds like you have revenge driving your emotions on this - which is understandable - but try to think of the constructive reasons for doing it.<p>To help you, please read this thread: On Informing OP's Spouse Of The Affair<p>After you read this, please make your decision for the right reason, which to me is to promote restoration of BOTH marriages - not to punish OM. He'll get his punishment from within eventually.

Wed,<p>I understand your feelings and wants to confront OM and his W....however, I don't believe this will help your situation any (at least not right now).<p>I confronted the OM, I confronted them together, I DEMANDED that they end it, I made them sign a contract to that effect. The net result was to drive my wife out of our house, and into his arms. If there is a feeling of caring or love between your W and the OM, then ANYTHING you say or do to hurt the OM will be perceived by your wife as an attack on HER, and she will defend the OM.<p>For every step you take towards the OM, your wife will take three.<p>If you're having a hard time believing that she has broken off contact, ask her to write a NO CONTACT letter (details can be found on this site). Have it delivered, or mail it to him. Don't let her hand deliver it because there may be too many emotions for her to let go if she sees him.<p>Also, check out the links below, and read Surviving an Affair (available in the site bookstore).<p>Good luck, and God bless,
Kev