Arrrrrgh. I hate weekends now. I am so mad. This used to be my favorite season. Loved to go to parties and get dressed up. Arrrrgh. H hasn't taken me anywhere (so what the hey we are separated) until this last wednesday night. <p>Can I ever get a day filled w/o stress from horrible amazon monkey ho's affair w/my H? I found out on Wed. that son went w/dad on trip and the horrible amazonian moneky-ho showed up there. Betrayal. Disgust. Anxiety. Lies. Nausea. Insomnia. It is one thing to lie to me but another to lie and deceive your child and disrespect the judgement of a mother by deliberately not telling her the truth which would have most definitely altered H's trip w/son--wouldn't have let son go if that horrible, lying, collagen injected peroxide queen, vibrating motorcycle riding, pill pushing pharmaceutical sales sl*t was at all going to be in the immediate vicinity of my son. Should there be a repeat performance of "mommie dearest wannabe" I will slap her w/restraint order on behalf of both me and my son so that she can't get within 200 yards of either of us. It is scary when the welfare and whereabouts of your child and those who will be around them is a lie. Can or should you ever trust someone who would put their morally devoid selfish desires above the needs of an innocent little child? I am fuming. Arrrrrrgh. <p>Oh, she has H believing "it's all real". Tell that to the marines. They've probably been there dun that and already know it's as fake as a 3 dollar bill. [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img] [img]images/icons/mad.gif" border="0[/img] <p>Anyone ever been betrayed as bad as this? I am talking horrible here. Read a/b for background. You may vent too.

Not peachy in GA,<p> Tell it to me. I am a Marine. I understand you feelings about your kids. It makes my skin crawl that they get anywhere near my kids.<p>Indy

Indy,by the way I loved all Indiana Jones movies, see what I'm reduced to? Weekend movie watching no date mom. <p>Marines are great. I'm an A.F. brat. Great too. You are a great dad also. Read your updates. Kinda like the nightly news but different. Praying hard for you. W will know one day what she has lost and it will hit hard. It is the lack of judgement and selfishness in the parenting that gets my goat. I was not brought up in a morally lose home, and by golly, am not going to have son grow up in one. Adultery is wrong. Our child will learn that and all of God's other laws. What has happened to their brains and their sense? Do they think we will just say, oh well it was for the better. Look how happy you are now. Heck, even our kids will one day embrace your decision to abandom them almost completely and think well, you're ok.

<blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Not peachy in GA:
<strong>Arrrrrgh. I hate weekends now. I am so mad. This used to be my favorite season. Loved to go to parties and get dressed up. Arrrrgh. H hasn't taken me anywhere (so what the hey we are separated) until this last wednesday night.
</strong><hr></blockquote><p>Peachy, peachy ... You got this one wrong. Get dress, go to party, go to "social events" ... with or without H. Show it to H, you gain control. If I were you I would book every night to go to "social event" and give your schedule to H and tell H that if he want to join he better tell you in advance otherwise you will go out w/ freind. Go and book primier of Lord of the Ring [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img]

Not peachy in GA,<p> There is nothing wrong with being an AF brat. I love the AF. They with the other air services help us out when we need air cover.<p>
W will know one day what she has lost and it will hit hard.<p>You know I wish it were true. <p>
What has happened to their brains and their sense? Do they think we will just say, oh well it was for the better. Look how happy you are now. Heck, even our kids will one day embrace your decision to abandom them almost completely and think well, you're ok.<p> That is completely true. They all think that. My WW told me so. Back in Jan when I would say something about the kids she would say that they will be fine. They will recover. I would say in my mind. Ok they will be fine. You have shown them that family is nothing. Commitment is nothing. I don't thinks so.<p>Indy

Peach, stop it now, I'm laughing myself out of my chair. I've been known to be rather cynical, sarcastic and generally the non-sugar coating type, but your description of OW, Monkey Ho, was stellar.<p>Sorry to bring the Monkey Ho up but right now, as you are well aware, a laugh goes a long way. BTW, I'm a drug rep too and I know the exact type you described. Scary monsters.

Guido, maybe you know her. Works for Abbot. In the mid south area.. Incidentally, I am a mom, former health professional and have bad thing about some of the reps...Need I say not all of them? Present company is definitely excluded from my negative verbal barrage. Funny, as a health pro, (can't divulge my specialty as that may give away my real name and the monkey-ho may be lurking here.) Hope she is so that she can read it. [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img]

Redhat, glad you're up too. What was your movie about? Curious and very interested. Maybe I could get a job doing movie reviews for the dateless. He. Will rev up social calendar, but when H sees I go out, he accuses me of, well doing his kind of behavior, which I don't. Like when they say, you point a finger at me means you really are pointing three back at yourself....Food for thought. [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img]

Ok. I am calming down here. Just hope you guys can come up w/mental pic of that thing my H is seeing. I almost vomited at dinner the other night when H said she is so kind, lovely and loving. Blaaaaaaah. <p>Ok. Calming down again. Son woke up screaming and I had to calm him down too. Glad you guys are here b/c no one is around, ever, except for here to calm me down. I am going to church tomorrow. Need my faith to take a hold of me. Sometimes, albeit rare, I get this anger that just jumps out. I control it though. Just venting here and go to gym. When I was single, I would use shopping as my vent. Maybe I deserve to start doing that now. Buy myself a "you have acted like a lady, now treat yourself like one" kina outfit. REdhat, I promise I will find somewhere to wear it. If I have to go out to dinner alone, i will just so I can wear something new. <p>I am going to go to bed soon. See ya tomorrow. Keep praying. Keep praying for my H, me, and son. Pray that God keeps doing a wonderful job at allowing me enough grace to just hold my tongue and allow me to feel the fantastic healing power of His being in control. After all, I could not have made it so smoothly through the other night (after my horrible discovery that afternoon) on date w/H, were it not for God and the love and compassion He keeps in my soul for my H. Just praying for more time. More time for me to hang in there. Keep praying and knowing that I am doing this b/c I still love H, but because if I don't our family doesn't have a chance. Just pray that God breaks through to H's heart and lets him see the real hurt and pain here--himself included.

Hey Peach, looks like you got a ton off your chest tonight--kudos for that. Church tomorrow, definetly. That was an area that I had tried to get established as routine but was met by lack of care on WS part. I take son with me on "my week" and she actually took him 2 out of 3 visits. Not perfect but a big improvement. Not that I'm the morality poster child, but the spiritual part is such an integral component.<p>Can't say as I know the monkey ho--I'm in the Midwest. However, going to conferences and seeing some of the monkey ho clones in full ho regalia is a sight to watch. <p>Remember this as a parting shot of humor-<p> "A flute without holes is not a flute,
a donut without holes is a Danish"
--Chevy Chase as Ty in Caddyshack<p>Going to sleep--hang in there, take care, vent. ..

Peachy,
I am a bit worry about you on your posting @guido's thread, and I think we missed each other post ... I am just back from bringing my D to Baskin&Robin. Hope you will read this in the morning.<p> <blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr><strong>Yes, redhat I am in an extremly cynical mood tonight. Why? Because I have had 2 nights of almost no sleep after finally facing the fact that I AM EXTREMELY ANGRY AT THE MOST WICKED BETRAYAL MY THIRTY YEARS HAVE SEEN. Tired angry and sorry of being the 24/7 mom unless wayward daddy wants a vacation and his conscience hurts b/c he hasn't seen his son in over 2 weeks....</strong><hr></blockquote>
Call Orchid or paged me if you need to talk ok ? do not let it linger like this. You are stronger now but you still have to learn to let it go. <blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr><strong>Must restate this. I am extremely blessed by God to be the mom of the most incredible little boy in the world, to me,. I just get burned out. My situation is like this. I stay home, I don't LB and when I see H I try to not at all LB. When I go out w/one of my few girlfriends here, H gets all Perry Mason on me and accusatory. Do I do anything that would make him have just cause for accusal? Nope. But that does kinda be a LB to him. I am sick of being damned if you do and damned if you don't. Almost like this, well, just be content a while longer and let him just keep his faith and trust impeccably in me, don't LB, let him hijack my emails and voicemails. H actually said the other night that I must have gotten "revenge" on him by doing something somehow. Nope. Don't want to. Can't possibly think I would want him back for him. Said it must be about money (good job) or his looks (is very cute) or b/c it would be too hard for me to be single again. Nope. I miss the man I married, the man I thought was my best friend. Realize that he isn't, though attempting to get him to be just that again.</strong><hr></blockquote>
Not LB doesn't mean that you have to serve H whatever H want such that H won't get unhappy. Nope, doesn't work that way, IT IS NOT A BLANK CHECK. You could get away with anything as long as you do not violate: Selfish demand, disrespectful judgement, angry outbursts, annoying behavior and dishonesty. H might get angry 'cause of your action but it is not LB !!!. One might say how could you reason with them in the fog ?. Well you have to learn how to talk fogese !!!!. Example ... if your H angry because you have private email tell H when he is calm down then you talk about it otherwise there is no discussion. When H is calm down the talk to him about swap access & password w/ respect, calm voice and no demand. Do you give "everything" your S ask even it is going to hurt them ?. Nope, you outwitt them, going down to their level and find an answer that they could understand. When H is angry and accusotary about your social life, walk away from it and told H to calm down first. When H is ready tell H that you will be glad if H comes along to your activity otherwise H have no vote. If H soft spot is your tears ... use it !. Cry and tell H that you are lonely and need to go out otherwise you are going crazy. (This is a fact !). End result, you get what you plan to acomplish, get H off balance. Venusian are very good at this, get H soft spot and use against them to get away with what you want.
All of us will not take our WS as is [img]images/icons/shocked.gif" border="0[/img] , we want SO that we know back. Plan A is trying to find out about you that WS have issue(s) about and change it. When the issue(s) are answered, one hope the fog could be lifted. His is "CHALLENGE". You are not his "throphy wife" anymore if H doesn't feel like he has to work on it. What for, you are under H complete control and you give in to it. What to do ? find away to break it without LB, doesn't mean you have to avoid H angry w/ your action , H will fight it w/ anger. You have to learn negotiation, of course in any negotiation you have to stop when any party is getting emotional. First rule, avoid the issues when H is mad, make him calm down ... not by giving in but not LB. Don't pick up the phone let time calm him down. However at the same time you tell him that he is your #1 and only one but inside you continue to say "not under his term or control".<p>About monkey-ho, the more you LB or bring it up to your H the more he feels for her. 2 woman fighting for him ... hmmn If I were you never talk about monkey-ho w/ H let alone LB'ed. If you find out something, keep it in your journal entry, you could read it to H after he is out of the fog. Not for judgement but to make sure H know how much you suffers for M & how much he is being taken for. And make sure that H will do something to prevent this kind of treason to occur again. From your descriptions, monkey-ho is no match for you yet H falls for it. IMHO, OW knows how to blow his ego (admirations) nothing more. Don't worry, don't go crazy what H does w/ OW or doesn't. Once you are become a "challenge" to him plus learn how to blow his ego, A will die. You have your chance to do POJA to address your list of issues and find solutions. Monkey-ho is not a challenge to him either, he just need to pick up his phone.

Not peachy in GA,<p> How are you today? I understand your loneliness on the weekends. That was also my time witht the WW. It is hard to have all of the toubles of a family, but non of the rewards of it. With the exception of the children and all. <p>Indy

Not going too well today. We went to church and son and I are going to have a fun activity together that his sunday school teacher gave us to do. Other than that, I'm devastated. I posted my whole stuff on a/b and am holding my son in my lap now as I type. Just woke up from nap and loves to be held after naps. So kind, innocent and loving. How could my H destroy a part of his innocence like that? How could H expose our precious son to this OW? I am devastated. Praying to God today that my faith can somehow be renewed to carry on the good fight a little bit longer to see if we have a chance. Please pray for H, for me, and for our son.

Hi Peach,<p>Hey thanks for your help the other night..... will call later with more details. <p>Hugz to you and your son. NO life and your H are not playing fair with your sons life. Neither is he playing fair with you but when they are in that fog, they basically don't care. <p>Hon, the one thing that is fairly common with these prideful types is that they have to fall at sometime. When and how hard varies. <p>Yes, I will keep you and your family in my prayers. <p>Take Care,
L.

GA,<p> I am sorry that you have had such a rough time of late. I understand your pain. I really don't have any advise I just thought that I would let you know that you are a good mother and person. You and your son Don't diserve to be treated like this. <p>Indy