It's been a long time since i posted on these boards. <p>My situation is really starting to get under my skin and upsetting me. My D-Day was July 27, 01...WS sat on fence with her A...talking to the OM about everyday. She says the entire "A" was mainly about talking etc. and not about sex, although they did have sex a few times. That she was in love with him, but didn't know what she wanted. <p>This stayed this way until about Nov 1...then something happened with him that made her open her eyes and change her mind. He lost his job (again) and 2 days later had an accident. This seemed to make her realize how financially unstable his is...and can't provide for her. Since then our marriage has really improved and she admits that her feelings for me are starting to come back.<p>She did sneak out to see him on Nov. 12 (he lives 4 hours away), but says this was a good by meeting and that she really didn't want to go and wasn't all excited too see him like before. HERE'S MY PROBLEM...she is STILL talking to him on the phone a few times a week..sometimes he calls her..sometimes she calls him. She is now at least admitting it to me...before she lied about it. <p>She says that he will always be her friend and that she just needs to know that he's alright. He was a close family friend to both of us before this...she wants to try to keep that friendship. I tell her she HAS to quit talking to him...yet she continues. I tell her that our marriage doesn't have a chance as long as she continues to talk to him. She knows it's wrong, but she still does it. She admits she would be pissed if I were talking to a woman like that....yet it goes on. <p>I have been in plan "A" since day 1. I have tried to meet every need she ever though about having...she doesn't try to even understand my needs. She won't go back to a MC...she's been 2 times. I am at a point where i can't figure out what to do but kick her out........why does this have to be so hard ?? <p>Should i continue in Plan "A" and see if she comes around to giving him up or will it take more than that ? I can't accept them talking the rest of our marriage...or i should say i WON'T !!
I have asked her if she loves me...then why does she choose to hurt me like this ?? She also won't tell him about how good our marriage is getting (doesn't want to hurt him). So it's okay to hurt me by calling him, but not hurt him by telling him the truth about us....<p>Sometimes i think she is right...I deserve better than HER !!

Here is what I would do - continue with Plan A and separate. I am assuming she is still living with you. Begin to distance yourself from her. Talk is cheap and the age-old saying reigns true -actions speak louder than words. Sounds like she is waiting for the OM's situation to possibly improve so she does not want to incur any inconveniences at the present moment. (Wants her cake and eat it too). She still needs a wake up call. There are some people whose life is a perpetual fog (let alone an affair fog)and unfortunately they will never "get it".
Being miserable and alone far outweighs being with someone who makes you miserable. Alone is not always a choice but being miserable is.