Hi All,<p>Oh my I did not intend to get all of you upset. I was indeed being sarcastic about what I felt were some cheep shots SnL took at STL and me. <p>I stayed home from work yesterday so I was not able to get on the Internet. We bought new computers on Friday .. xmas presents to each other. They are up and running but STL could not get our cable model connection working before he left for NY this week. So I'm isolated from the internet when I'm at home this week. Hopefully he'll get the connection working before he leaves again next week.<p> I had no idea that all of you good souls would not pick up on the fact that I was being sarcastic. I'm so sorry. STL and I are doing very well. We are very happy. The MB concepts are working very well for us. <p>My obviously flawed attempt at sarcasm in Jeffer's thread was in reference to an exchange between SnL and I in which I understood him to be telling me that I was mistaken that STL and I are in 'in-love' and doing well. He 'suggested' that instead I am settling for our marriage so as to not have to start over. He then took a shot at STL as a person. I felt that they were cheap and mean spirited comments. I did take the opportunity to give him grief for it on his thread. I was very upset that day. I've included the link to that thread. I've also included the exchange between SnL and I that upset me.<p>I am touched that so many of you reached out to me though. It's nice to know that you all care. I'll be more careful about my sarcastic comments in the future. I made the wrong assumption that everyone would know what I was referring to? assumed everyone reads every thread on MB. That was a silly assumption was it not? Again? I apologize for getting you upset.<p>Z<p>The exchange between SnL and me<p>zorweb...Yes, I do know people who are "in-love" all the time and they are not fairy tail characters. They are people who genuinely love their spouses. Again it is the definition of `in-love' that matters here. If `in-love' is defined as having that butterfly feeling about your lover ALL the time then it will be harder to find people who are in-love 24/7 for an entire life time.<p>snl..I do not define it that way at all, and have defined it a number of times allready. What folks typically do is try to make what you said the definition, in order to minimize the reality of a bond we can describe as
in-love.<p>zorweb...I can tell you that I love STL 24/7. The only time this feeling has been challenged was in the first 2 weeks after d-day. During that time I was mostly working on balancing my understanding of who he is with the new knowledge I had of him. If I had not loved him 24/7 I would have just walked away.<p>snl...I wouldn't presume to tell you your feelings, but if someone were describing your circumstances to me, I would speculate you simply did not want to start over for a fourth time, and were willing to settle if you could get some gaurantees. People are not usually all good or all bad, so it is natural to want to stay with someone even if they have serious flaws, if they have good points. That is not at all what I am talking about. I am talking about human psychology and how that impacts intimacy.<p>??..<p>zorweb...I've been in love enough times and in enough relationships to know that psychological fit is only
one of the components. It is perhaps one of the components hat gets us together. It is not the ONLY ONE
that keeps us together. Perhaps that is an advantage I have for having been in many relationships. I know
from experience how fragile `in-love', how fleeting that feeling of `in-love' and `soul mate' can be. People
stay in love over the long haul only when they nurture their relationship. MB is about the nurturing.<p>snl...And maybe you have never been in-love, how would you know. Your track record indicates a lack of
skill in recognizing love, when in fact you were selecting toxic relationships. No wonder you are so bent on
making it a structural issue, a behavioral issue, emotions have served you poorly. Remember, I think it is
both. Re stl, I am not sure of all the details, but it seems I recall he used women, he did not love them, this
indeed could be a coping mechanism he could recover from, and all other things being good, could fit you I
suppose. But that has nothing to do with MB, has to do with stl healing himself, and when healed still
wanting to be married to you (and you him).<p>
Here's the link to the entire thread<p>
http://www.marriagebuilders.com/cgi-bin/ultimatebb.cgi?ubb=get_topic&f=37&t=014059&p=3
