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Joined: Dec 2000
Posts: 216
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OP
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Joined: Dec 2000
Posts: 216 |
I usually hang out on the recovery board. I want to know if anyone has tried a trial separation while in recovery.<p>I'm at the point where I'm not really sure I want to recover.<p>My WS has not expressed any interest in MC or MB principles and I want more.<p>I think I might be better off on my own. <p>Any ideas or input would be greatly appreciated.
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Joined: Mar 2001
Posts: 553
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Joined: Mar 2001
Posts: 553 |
I did it. I had no other choice. Couldn't stand to look at him and "pretend" things were as they always were. Gave us the space to decide what we really wanted.<p>Now the downside: After 3 months, I was ready to reconcile, H was not. Took another 6 months. Huge LB for me, I really hate him for that.He was indecisive as all get out. Wanted his cake and eat it too, No, not OW but with me. Attention, love, affection and a place away.<p>Children took it very hard. Teenage son is depressed and taken up drinking and drugs. This is from a child who has always been an honor student and Sooooooo easy to get along with. Not anymore. Side effects of the separation or H's A I don't know which.
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Joined: Sep 2001
Posts: 5,733
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Joined: Sep 2001
Posts: 5,733 |
vernon3,
Question for you. What make you think you are in recovery and not in plan A ?. A ended doesn't mean recovery. H has to willingly working on M to be in recovery. Both of you have to do POJA to protect you M. H doesn't want MC, it doesn't mean that you could not get one, most of us work with MBC ourself on plan A.
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Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 486
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Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 486 |
Define your borders...<p>But like Steve Harley told me..."Don't seperate".<p>If you are not sure, or are still trying..<p>Seperation will not bring you together.<p>Dan
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Joined: Dec 2000
Posts: 216
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OP
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Joined: Dec 2000
Posts: 216 |
redhat, Thanks for your reply. I'd say our marriage is in recovery (for the most part), but I'm not.<p>I'm starting to question my decision. I'm in a modified plan A as far as I don't LB anymore. But EN are not being met. I'm on my own with MB principles.<p>I was in IC for 6 months. It helped me get stronger, but I'm still not where I want to be. Just looking for other avenues I haven't pursued.<p>Family Man, your right, a separation will not bring us closer. I guess that's my point. I'm in a rut right now and sometimes I want out.<p>Life's too short. Do I want this to be all there is? I guess I expected more, or too much.
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Joined: Sep 2001
Posts: 5,733
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Joined: Sep 2001
Posts: 5,733 |
vernon3,
Do you follows Jeffers ?. He feels the same way, EA has been dissolved but WS doesn't want to work M to the point of caring & loving. He wants more since he knows that it could be. He is strugling to find a way to get her attention. Appearantly he did it by shocking her about MLC. Probably you need to do the same ... shutting down meeting some EN temporary to get his attention.
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