Hi, I am not sure where to start. First about 3 months ago my husband went on a business trip and spent time getting to know another employee which was a woman. They spent time they should not have a movie,lunch. She told him how attracted she was to him. He told her to leave and then later she spilled her whole tragic life story. I was devestated by his actions and how dangerous a situation he was in. Is what she said an emotional affair? Then they came home. We at the time were not in the best time in our marriage. I was feeling very insecure and abondoned the last couple years of our marriage. So I have worked through alot of stuff with the help of a counselor to get my emotional state stronger. I am on my way to better self-repect, but the woman is still around as she is his co-worker employee and she calls him and tells him personal problems.He told me he has told her Nicely that they cannot have this kind of relationship. She doesn't seem to be understanding this. The question is do I go talk to her about what this is doing to my marriage and hers? I am lost on this. Does anyone have any advice? I do not want to take chances with this woman getting closer to my husband. Help!<p>[ December 17, 2001: Message edited by: infaithIhope ]</p>

infaithIhope,
IMO, fyi. your H then do it, your H talked to her already and see if you can help it. Go talk to her W-2-W. If she is not stoping then consider go to her H. You have to protect your M. Three is a crowd and also what the heck your H was doing, "lurking" ?. Rent H fatal attraction video ... [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img] .

infaithIhope,<p>Welcome to Marriage Builders. Have your read the articles on the main site? They are very useful whether infidelity is involved or not.<p>Here is a link to Dr. Harley's article about how affairs begin. Is your H open to read about this topic?<p>How Affairs Begin<p>There is a MB concept called a "no contact" letter. The spouse who is involved with another person writes a letter to the other person stating that there will be no more contact with her from him and that the OP is not to try to contact him either because it is not good for the marriage. Would your H be willing to write this? It is sometimes suggested that you deliver this to OW together. Maybe that would cause the woman to stay away. But your H has to be assertive with her about leaving him alone.<p>I am not suggesting that there is an affair here. But there is certainly a situation developing that could open the door to one. You are wise to examine what is happening.<p>There is also a MB concept of love busting, seriously offending the spouse and costing you love units. So it would be wise to proceed cautiously and not angrily accuse your H of something that might not be happening.<p>Again, welcome. There are lots of opinions here. [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img] Read the info on the main site and come here to post and learn.<p>Take care,
Estes

Welcome IFIH,<p>Yes, you and your H should do a no contact letter. This woman should be telling a counselor her marriage problems, not our H. <p>So you and H should sit down and agree on what the overall message is that you want this woman to get, and together compose the letter and both sign it.

Welcome IFIH,<p>Yes, you and your H should do a "no contact" letter. This woman should be telling a counselor her marriage problems, not our H. <p>So, you and H should sit down and agree on what the overall message is that you want this woman to get, and together compose the letter and both sign it. <p>If the woman persists, I'd say then you may want to involve her H at that point. <p>Good luck,
Jo