<p>[ January 20, 2002: Message edited by: Bunny ]</p>

"I just want you to make the decision that's best for you."

WH says: "You know I don't want to hurt you."<p>Response: "Then don't"<p>Just kidding ...<p>I don't mean to make light of this, I know how horrible it is, and I'm sorry you're going thru this, Mylife.<p>I'd say the best response to him saying that is "NO Response", or the MB recommended response of "I see", or "I understand", or "Okay".<p>Point is, it doesn't matter what non-LB response you give, it won't change anything. Unfortunetly, he may end up hurting you regardless of what response you give, and ANY response is not going to make his A end, you can't control it. It has to die it's own natural death. <p>Please take care of YOU. <p>Love,
Jo

<blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Resilient:
<strong>WH says: "You know I don't want to hurt you."<p>Response: "Then don't"<p>Just kidding ...<p>I'd say the best response to him saying that is "NO Response", or the MB recommended response of "I see", or "I understand", or "Okay".<p>Point is, it doesn't matter what non-LB response you give, it won't change anything. Unfortunetly, he may end up hurting you regardless of what response you give, and ANY response is not going to make his A end, you can't control it. It has to die it's own natural death.
</strong><hr></blockquote><p>Good post Jo. I think I just remained silent when my H used to say that to me. It's really a pretty meaningless statement if you think about it, so IMO it didn't warrant a response. After all, realistically the entirety of that sentence would be "I don't want to hurt you.. But I can't help myself for whatever reason and I'm going to keep doing it anyway." It's a meaningless thing the WS say to try and assauge their guilt. When it comes to hurting people actions definitley speak louder than words.

how about the equally meaningless "Whatever"

But in Plan A, aren't you supposed to be showing the WS how well you relate to them....making a "safe" place for them? You may WANT to just say "whatever" (among other things) but I didn't think that was the point of Plan A time.

But in Plan A, aren't you supposed to be showing the WS how well you relate to them....making a "safe" place for them? You may WANT to just say "whatever" (among other things) but I didn't think that was the point of Plan A time.

WH: "I'm sorry you're hurt."<p>BS: "So am I. What are you going to do about it?"<p>WH: Silence.<p>"I'm sorry you're hurt" is just another way of saying "I'm sorry you're not putting up with my b*llsh*t anymore, because it sure was nice for me when you did."<p>When they say "I'M SORRY FOR WHAT I DID," not just "I'm sorry you're hurt by it," then maybe you will see some progress.<p>Psycho_B***h