FIL told me today W was executing paperwork to withdraw divorce filing without predjudice.
She told him she is doing this because she wants peace not because she wants reconcilation. I Don't want to get my hopes up but this has to be a good sign. I know she is still with OM. I just don't get it??? <p>Any insights. Steve H. would say, ok while she is looking for peace she will fall back in love with me.<p>[ December 21, 2001: Message edited by: dadoftheyear ]</p>

Ya!<p>Confusision in a WS is usually a good thing. And maybe it will be a LB to OM as well. <p>Just be sure to have no expectations and keep up your plan a.<p>Lora

ditto Lora - but instead of confusion, I'd call it turmoil - even better!<p>Now, please be cool and don't pry. Don't over react. The ball is clearly in her court and you'd be best to do nothing other than consistent Plan A with NO LBs, ok?<p>WAT

Actually guys, I'm in Plan B per Setve H., She got my letter this AM. She called @7:30 AM , did not leave a message. I had teh kids, but I'll go out on a limb here, this is when she got home form OM house. Burns my [censored]. <p>She LM on V-mail @ 4:30 saying she can resepect that. Sounding very confidant and in control. Also she needs the Pack -n-play. I should call and she won't answer, so I can leave a message. <p>I'll see what steve has to say, better yetI'll e-mail him this post.

Hi Dad,<p>Ok, now is the time to step back and watch. It is hard for her now and she will be more than moody. Is that possible? <p>I think you are doing better. IMHO.<p>Take Care,
L.

Orchid, <p>What am I watching for?????<p>THis is the hardest part for me as I am passive aggressive, and getting more aggressive since D-day.<p>Have a holiday party to go to tonight, i think I'll tie one one.

dad, <p>If you are in Plan B, can you get someone else to contact her? Can you figure out a way to just step out of her world for awhile while Plan B sinks in?<p>Estes

"...can you get someone else to contact her?" My FIL.<p>Yes I can, and have but i have a joint session w/ Steve H. on teh 27th , other than that no other contact except for e-mail.<p> <blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Estes49:
<strong>dad, <p>If you are in Plan B, can you get someone else to contact her? Can you figure out a way to just step out of her world for awhile while Plan B sinks in?<p>Estes</strong><hr></blockquote>

Enjoy the party...... Put this stuff out for a while. <p>L.

Orchid, <p>Thanks, I'll keep an eye out for the ballpit. LOL<p>Be back tomorrow, while reading Love Busters.<p>J

Dad,<p> I want to offer my support to you. I hope that the withdrawing of the divorce proceedings is her first step to coming home. <p>Indy

Hi Dad, GOod for you! How long did you plan A? FOr us learners out here... you do not have to answer as I know you are at a party, and hopefully having an awesome time tonight. I am happy for you...just wondering how long it took to get here. I am happy happy happy for you... it is definitely a good good sign... I somehow got my H to put off filing, yea! ANd he is trying to work on the marriage... now with me in counseling to explore options. thanks, l

Honey,<p>Partys over, nice time, Ba humbug. <p>Plan A from May until August. Plan B w/out letter from August till Mid november with major Love busters, I was down right nasty as teh divorce proceeding were. The rest is in my bio that follows. <p>Indy, Thanks for the support. I need it as she si sick and truly needs help, fortunately she has agreed to get it, but remains with OM. I just want to shake her out of it. "WAKE-UP YOU %$&^# *&^$%!!!!!!" I want to say. <p>AGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

She is going to be comparing an contrasting her prospects with om to her prospects with you. Sounds cold doesn't it? It is..... it's an incredibly selfish time for the ws, but that's just how it is. It is also a time when ws is focused very much on the present and the future and very little in the past (certainly not anything positive about your past relatonship) <p>My purpose in pointing this out is to caution you against lovebusters at this point at all costs. Been there done that & know it's hard, but it can work out!

dad - BIG ditto to wesse - double, triple ditto!<p>With kids it's hard, but minimize all contact per Plan B to help avoid LBs. BUT, whenever contact is unavoidable (because of kids) do it in a pristine Plan A fashion and try to work in an "I miss you," but nothing more.

wesse,<p>"She is going to be comparing an contrasting her prospects with om to her prospects with you. Sounds cold doesn't it? "
Sounds like I'm a High School Homework assignment!!
"It is..... it's an incredibly selfish time for the ws, but that's just how it is. It is also a time when ws is focused very much on the present and the future and very little in the past (certainly not anything positive about your past relatonship)" I know she has been selfish, My instincts tell methe folowing;<p>She will crash and burn again in 3-4 weeks, dump him, call me, try and negotiate a deal for me to meet some of the needs, call him back 1-2 weeks later. THis cycle will reapeat it self until he gets tired of being dumped 2-3 more times. THen she will meet someone else, cycle will repeate itself. A few more times with different men, WHen I gone for good, she will come back begging and pleading. <p>WAT, y next contact will be via e-mail, should I write the "I miss You" in the e-mail.

<blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by dadoftheyear:
<strong>
WAT, y next contact will be via e-mail, should I write the "I miss You" in the e-mail.</strong><hr></blockquote><p>Yes, but only if you mean it.<p>WAT

WAT,<p>Of course I mean it, MY FIL just informed me that she went back to OM because Steve H did'nt tell here to not continue dating him Whats up with that?
I know this is BS, but whats the deal?

Dadoftheyear, You bring up an interesting point when you say you want to yell at your wife to wake up and get out of it (the a).<p>Something I learned as a WS was that really I felt trapped and wanted my H to fight to win me back. This didn't happen during A but he did fight for me as soon as I disclosed my failure.<p>I don't know your story and you sound like the type of spouse that likely has tried to tell your W how you feel in the past.<p>I'm not very familiar with Plan A or B so I'm not in a place to advise you whether to go for it and let her know (without LBing) your feelings. <p>I know until my own indiscretion that I never understood H's Best Friend (years before our troubles) confiding in him that if his W had gone to the airport and begged him not to go with his "gf", he would have run back into her arms. Instead, his W remained numb and motionless and H's Best Friend chased several women before marrying one and now almost 10 years later his motionless numb wife will remarry. <p>I don't envy you the pain but please just be reminded gently today that there are many here who care about you and desire success and the coming true of dreams. <p>I'm sure you are tired of being told "be patient" and "live one day at a time" but that's a lot of it. Try to find some healthy ways to relieve your pain and keep yourself healthy physically and emotionally and don't ever give up hope.

Fresh Start,<p>Thanks for the encouragement, rather then post here, I going to start a new thread, eititled theroller coaster goes up, teh roller coaster goes down. <p>Decisde to let her have the kids and make the best of the eve and day. <p>Merry Christmas