<p>[ January 20, 2002: Message edited by: Bunny ]</p>

ML, <p>You sound like you need a {{{HUG}}}<p>I am sorry he is being a jerk..... your kids seem to be noticing that also. In time they will let him feel their displeasure. <p>For what he is doing to you and your current status, sounds like you need to read up on plan B. What he is doing is highly disrespectful and you are allowing him to continue treating you as such. I don't mean to sound harsh but you are basically enabling him. <p>I understand because I did that also. When my H was in his fog, he kept reminding me that I could not stop him from seeing our son. He was right. But he was making threats because like your H it was not our child's interest he had in mind, just the act of threatening me to keep me in line. <p>Oooh it took a while, then I called him on his threat. I told him, ok then here's the deal. PLAN B. You are making a big deal of spending time with son but I don't believe you really mean it so here you can spend that 'quality time' you claim you want to spend and if our child finds out he does NOT want to spend it with you, then he will tell you. I prepared my son so that he would not be afraid to tell his dad what son wanted. <p>Plan B for me though not executed precisely did work. <p>Would you like the reference to the revised plan B thread?<p>L.

How about saying to him...<p>H, I have joined a________, I will be going every (tuesday & thursday night). Please make arrangements to have your visitations, on those days.<p>OR<p>H, I would like to start going out once or twice a week. What night is convenient for you to take the kids, so that I can make plans.<p>How do you know when he's coming? Does he phone or just show up.

<p>[ January 20, 2002: Message edited by: Bunny ]</p>

I don't think I've ever recommended this before, and you may think it's too much..but from what I'm reading here..Plan B might also want to have a little bit of a legal portion...what I mean is a legal separation that will specifically spell out visitation and appropriate parental controls. I think you can talk, plead, demand till you're blue in the face and he simply is not going to comply...at least with court order, you do have some protection for the kids...I know this is a drastic step...maybe one you'll want to keep in your back pocket for a while.
T