Merry Christmas to everyone!<p>I know this a tough time for a lot of us here, so I thought I would start a post of counting our blessings. It was suggested to me that I write these down this holiday season, so what better place than here? <p>(in no particular order)<p>1. I'm still alive. After Dday, I contemplated suicide and even took a knife to my arm in order to feel a pain that I "understood". I will carry that scar for the rest of my life, but I AM STILL ALIVE. I got past my Dday depression long enough to be here, posting and reading. <p>2. MB Website. Where on earth would I be without this place? The support I have found here is incredible, touching, heart-warming and downright irreplaceable. I only hope that someday I can offer the same support; hope that I will have the wisdom to give advice that is worth listening to and reading. <p>3. My family and friends and my H's family and friends. They have all been my "rocks". Whenever I've felt as though my emotional waves are crashing too hard, along they come to rescue me from the storm. They let me cry, they don't judge me, they hear me complain, rejoice, and moan. And no, I wouldn't be alive without them either. <p>4. I have a roof over my head. I'm SO thankful for that. My flat is old and cold, but it's mine and it's home. <p>5. I have food on my table everyday and all my bills are paid. <p>6. My WH is still speaking to me. Yes, he's turned into a liar and a cheat, but he is still talking to me, and for that I am grateful. It doesn't mean I have to believe everything that comes out of his mouth, but I can still spend time with him and Plan A him/myself, so I'm thankful to be given that opportunity. <p>7. Therapy. 'Nuff said. <p>8. Coffee Shops. My little haven of sanity. It's where I go to read and write in my journal. Whenever I feel like getting out of the house, off I go to my favourite coffee shop for some personal Me Time. <p>9. The rest of my life. I'm an intelligent woman and I have so much to look forward to. Whether or not this is with my H, I know, in my heart, that I can do anything I want. The world is my oyster and I'm going to shuck it!<p>10. A higher power. I've never followed an organised religion, but it doesn't stop me from looking at the ceiling before I go to bed and asking for help or saying "thank you". We all have to believe in something, we all have to have faith. I have found, through this horrible experience, that it helps. <p>And that's just my short list! <p>I hope you all are well and will continue to heal and grow in the New Year. My thoughts are with you all today. <p>Merry Christmas,<p>Love,
Venus

Blessings:<p>1. My children are all healthy and doing well.<p>2. I am healthy and so is my H! [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img] <p>3. I am grateful for the hefty severance package that my H got when he lost his job - which allowed us to have a normal Christmas for the kids, even though he can't find work.<p>4. I have a roof over my head, and family members that love me - and several people that I can call good friends.<p>5. I am grateful for the love of my husband.<p>6. I am grateful for my in laws - I've heard so many real life horror stories that it makes MY problems with mine pale in comparision....<p>7. I am profoundly grateful for having found this website and for Steve Harley's fantastic guidance - it has saved my marriage from a very ugly death.<p>8. I am grateful to be an American citizen and to live in such unprecedented freedom and wealth of all human history.<p>9. I am grateful for our Armed Forces that protect our lives and our freedoms - especially our right to freedom of religion and freedom of expression.<p>10. I am grateful for technology - most especially the internet - which has profoundly affected my life in so many ways for the better at every dark point I have ever been at in my life.<p>hmmm...well thats a start!<p>That and my H got me some very wonderful gifts this year and I am totally psyched [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img]

1) God. Though these hard times, I've begun to explore my relationship with him in ways I've never done before. I thank God for all the gifts I've been given in life. The gift that he gave all of us in his son.<p>2) My wife. The twelve years of love that we have shared. The support that she has provided to me in some of my worst times. The fact that she's forced me through this hardship to seek help for my depression.<p>3) My in-laws. They've been my adoptive family for twelve years, and I am eternally grateful to them for ALL that they've done for me: particularly raising my wife.<p>4) My friends, and the newly opened dialog with my mother. They've all been there to help me through these difficult times. Before this, I didn't really think I had anyone I could depend on other than my wife.<p>5) All of you people. Without you, I have no idea where I'd be right now, but I DO know it wouldn't be a good place.<p>6) The fact that my wife and I are still able to be together. It gives me hope that there's a chance, but no guarantees.<p>7) My health, and the general health of W.<p>8) Our financial stability, and the ability to reach some of the long term goals that we've set.<p>9) Our cats. They bring a little excitement (some may call it insanity) to many otherwise boring days. They love unconditionally.<p>10) The incredible honor to be a citizen of the FREE WORLD, be it USA, Great Brittain, Austrailia, whatever. We all have been given a seemingly random but tremendous gift to be born free. I thank God for the service men and women of all nations that fight and sacrifice for that cause.<p>God bless you all on this day.<p>My prayers are for Christmas miracles for you.<p>Kevin