Found out about H affair with secretary in 07-01.
H moved out in 10-01 moved in with OW on 11-01.<p>Have been going through extreme emotions of grief, anger, resentment, rejection. All my anger is projected on H. Causing complete breakdown in communication. OW women is DW and of different race group and culture. H admitted that moral values and christian values of OW is not the same but he loves her.<p>I stumbled on this web-site on Xmas eve. What a blessing thought I was alone in this. Xmas eve spent alone crying and asking questions. Xmas day very sad and lonely. Children with H & OW for two weeks find it difficult to deal with.<p>H splurging excesive amounts of money on OW, new beach front apartment, expensive hotels and I must make do on my salary and a small amount of maintenance for children. Very painful because in our M their was never any money to splurge.<p>I ask myself will this affair last. Do I take the back seat and let it ride its cause.<p>Found God through all this sadness and pain. Depending on God entirely to help me heal but still find myself wanting to take over God's work and speed things up which always leads to more sorrow. Very impatient. Must learn to let go and let God.<p>I still love my husband and I pray that in God's time he will open his eyes to see the destruction that he has caused to his family but in the meantime I must work on healing myself and also do a searching moral inventory to be able to admit to my part in the breakdown of our marriage.<p>[/LIST]

First let me welcome you to MB!!! You are now among friends!!!<p>Let me give you something that has helped me through many of the crisis in my life the past 4 years. F.R.O.G. Fully/Rely/On/God, I do so every day.
Actually I have FROG stamped on a leather bracelt that I were every day, it's comforting<p>I am sorry for the pain that you are going through, but believe it or not it is all part of the process.<p>There is some awesome stuff on this site to read and sounds like you might have done that through some of the tears, that's good!! Read it again and again though, I find new things that I don't remeber seeing before. So Read!!<p>Find a post from redhat he has some very good links listed in his signature!! Good advice too!!<p>You can choose to handle the situation in many different ways, you have to do it the way that is best for you and your kids. For me I am riding it out, I had God in my life before this so knew where to turn in my time of need! Although I want to hurry Him up sometimes, can't do that. I've been waiting almost 11 months for some change to occur, it hasn't, well just a little lift of the fog, but then it settled deeper. As my 20yo S said the other day when I went to say something mean "Mom the high road remember" So I guess I can say that my kids are proud of the way I am handling their fathers stupidity!!<p>Take care, some here will tell you that the anti-depressents help greatly, I am sure they do, so far I have been ok without them, I burst into tears every once in a while, alot over this week. But that is ok, they dry up quick!!<p>Keep posting, like I said you are among friends, the support is awesome and we understand so much more then those around you, we are here for the same reason, to build on our marriages.<p>Dawn<p>[ December 26, 2001: Message edited by: daybreak ]</p>

bumping this up as GinnyF needs more then just my input, let's show her how supportive we can all be!!!<p>Dawn

GinnyF,
Welcome to marriage builders. Read and learn the basic consepts here. Come here often to talk, vent, ask questions... you will find great advise and comfort here. I am so glad to hear that you're allowing God to work in your life. He is the great healer. You're going to be okey.
I am praying for you now!!!<p>Stillhurts

Welcome GinnyF,<p>Please stay here and read EVERYTHING. Get up close and familiar with the Harley's concepts and then come to the board and ask questions, vent, cry ... just talk to us.<p>You should be placing yourself in Plan A. And while in Plan A you do not Love Bust your WS, you're simply nice to him while you work on yourself.<p>I'm so sorry for the pain you're going thru, you don't deserve it and there is no excuse for an A, NONE. <p>There are so many helpful, compassionate and wise people here. Please know we are here to help you, and we understand what you're going thru.<p>Love and many prayers,
Jo