My Christmas was pretty good. [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img] We started the day off with him being pretty ornery and not wanting anything to do with us, but he came around and we enjoyed the day. I'm not sure where we are headed. Sometimes it feels like he wants to be here, others I'm not sure. How was everyone's x-mas [img]images/icons/wink.gif" border="0[/img]

Hello RF, Your description matches my holidays precisely. H says he'd rather be somewhere else but in the end, he's with us and strangely enough, it was OK.<p>Good luck with the rest of your holidays.

Surprisingly my Christmas was great and full of fun things. My 2 Sons (ages 31 and 26) and DIL and Mom and Stepdad were here for dinner. After we ate, WS called and was crying. He confessed that he was miserable and he was not where he should be.....with us. Tried to leave his apartment 3x to come and visit but could not stop crying. My older son was not feeling well and my DIL felt it was because he did not see his Dad for 9 months and Christmas just accentuated that. I called WS back and told him to come over and it did not matter if he cried....that may be good. I said, Your sons need you here. So he came and after long hugs and tears and laughter we all had a great time together. My older son was like a little boy showing his Dad all his "toys" and they seem to be reconciled for now. That was the greatest Christmas present I got. <p>Boy----an A is like a tornado, it rips through everyone's life and the damage is mind boggling. It is a wonder that we survive. BUT I believe that is why Jesus came to live among us and die for our sins so that we can reconcile, repent, forgive, heal and live life to the fullest.<p>TW

I had the best Christmas of my marriage! [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img] <p>A big major point of contention has been that through most of our marriage, my H has rarely been interested in showing love or affection through gifts. He LOVES to get them, and gift giving is a big deal. So I rightly judged that his lack of interest in giving gifts to me was based on a lack of love.<p>And to make it worse - I've uncovered quite a few wonderful gifts he bought the OW.<p>We had a similar issue over my hurt that he took OW on a vacation - and he had never done so with me in 10 years of marriage.<p>So shortly after he moved home - he took me and the kids on vacation! And it was great [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img] <p>And now here comes Christmas - and my H is unemployed. But he said he couldn't help it, he wanted to get me nice things! [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img] [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img] <p>So I ended up with a digital camara, a beautiful leather coat, and a topaz and diamond ring [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img] <p>As my mother said: "Sounds like he is recommitted to your marriage!"<p>Whew! - its been a long long hard road to get this far...and this time last year, or even 2 years ago, I could not have imagined that things could ever be this good.

Hey BR, I am SO very happy for you. After what I can imagine to have been a devastating separation, I congratulate you on where you now find yourself. I wish you a lifetime of love-filled Christmas seasons along with happy family vacations to follow. Thank-you for always providing your very invaluable insight. <p>Hugs

My Christmas was just okay ... other than that, I felt pretty relieved. That I *know* of, XOW didn't pull any of her "hit and runs" by leaving H a nasty message on his cell phone drunkenly slobbering about what losers we are. So I suppose it was a better Christmas than the last, when she was still calling shortly before every freakin' holiday one could possibly imagine. Maybe she found another married boyfriend whose family she tortured over the holly-daze - ? I hope not, I really hope that she's with someone who has captivated her interest so much that she leaves me alone.<p>belld

Well RAINE,<p>I put that suit of armour on, (found one big enough to fit my fat butt) and invited WH to christmas eve service and my parent's house afterwards, did not go to church with us, but did come to folk's, know that he called OW while we were gone UGH!!! Did come with for Christmas dinner. Talked with FIL Christmas eve day he apologised to me for his son's behaviour.<p>We had a nice time opening gifts, kids really got into it and my brother was a hoot, D BF wasn't sure what to think of all of us.<p>WH got me a disk for our digital camera that I kept!! Thoughtful I guess, I thanked him. I gave him a bowling ball bag and candle set for his apartment, opened one while I was out of room and didn't say thank you for anything, won't even look me in the eye.<p>I am waiting for the D talk mentioned it many times before coming that he wanted to talk about that while here. UGH! He leaves tomorrow, kids have asked him to stay til Sunday, says that he has too much to do at his aprtment before going back to work. Think OW is flying in. UGH!!!!<p>Sorry I took so much space!!!<p>Dawn

tossed,<p>Sounds like things went well for you and family, am so glad for you all!!!<p>Good Job!! Blessings to you, Dawn

There's a similar thread over on 'In Recovery' (see: http://www.marriagebuilders.com/cgi-bin/ultimatebb.cgi?ubb=get_topic&f=31&t=005397). Great idea on both your parts!<p>I described the awesome Christmas we are having in our household on Rose Red's thread, so I'll just point over there.<p>Happy Holidays everyone!

Rosey,<p>Your post put the biggest smile on my face. [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img] <p>I am SO happy for you. You deserve every bit of it. Bask in this happiness okay ... God is shining His light on your family.<p>Very Best,
Jo

Please pray for me, i'm acting like a brat and I just can't shake it! My H gave me 6 clothing items and they needed to be returned or exchanged. When I asked for the receipts, he acted sheepish and said he did not keep them. Sooo, he finally says that they all came from Wal Mart. I had to take them back and get clearance value for them. I know that I should be grateful that he bought gifts, but this guy makes 150K a year and drives a Porche!

Christmas Day was nice despite my husband not being home to celebrate with me, our daughter or our son. Then, again, he hasn't been able to be home for the holidays since Spring of 1999 when he was imprisoned for drug-related charges. Fortunately, for him and our family, he will be home for Easter and every Holiday thereafter, God willing.<p>He came "clean" with me in May of this year about his long-term affair with another woman in which I'd had serious suspicions about. She played an active part in his illegal activities. Which leaves a very sour taste in my mouth not only because she voluntarily gave herself to a known married man but put her minor children whom lived with her at risk for her lust drugs and dreams of fortune.<p>Despite the burden of my husband's incarceration, I am thankful that he has been "forced" to be clean for three plus years and that his mental being is "on track." Although the inferior methods of communication allowed within the system
has left us in suspension, we both know that there are many topics and issues to be addressed once he is home. I thank God that we are allowed that opportunity come Spring. That is the best gift that I could ever receive......ever. And I'll not use that opportunity in vain.<p>[ December 27, 2001: Message edited by: GeezLouise ]</p>

GeezLouise,<p>Haven't heard from you for awhile. Did you and the kids have a good christmas?<p>Glad to hear that your H will be home soon.<p>Dawn

OMG.......Dawn.....how are you?!!!! Yes, we had a very nice Christmas. I live next door to my in-laws and me and the two younguns (Lauren is 17 and DJ is 14) spent Christmas Eve there with all of my husband's siblings and their girlfriends/boyfriends and the babies that they've had (o'Lord) and went back over to the in-law's for Christmas Dinner (at 12:30 pm). My hubby's family are farmers and dinner is lunch and supper is dinner....took awhile to learn...LOL. How are you?????

Sounds like everyone had a good Christmas for the most part! I'm glad!!! Good job putting on the armour Dawn. Yesterday, I got the best Christmas present. My h. whom said he was ashamed to be with me and was only here for the kids, He said he
loved me and wanted to work on fixing us!! This is the first time he has ever said this [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img]

I just posted a long reply...but was not logged in...hmmmm...<p>Our Christmas was ok..the kids and I had fun baking and shopping.<p>H. had the kids Fri-Sun before Christmas. He had the kids up in his apartment. Her things were all over the apt. She wasn't there tho. He bought them all expensive things and cooked a turkey dinner. He bought them all stockings and said that Santa was coming early. When the big girls left...he had my younger kids call OW to thank them for the gifts. They all said he doesn't miss being home. They were all excited because he sent me a big wrapped gift....it was one of those sausage, sardine things that you buy your grandmother. I am tempted to send it back with a note for H and OW to enjoy.<p>He shows no remorse, he has completely moved on. I am still the evil person that caused all of this. <p>When the kids got home, my older two said it was just sad. My younger two just had fun. We got busy with our preparations and I tried to maintain....but it was sad for all of us. It just is not the same. I miss my H. I feel empty and sad and unable to do anything about it. I feel like my life has been taken away...and everyone says I should be over it by now and move on with my life. I feel like I am getting worse emotionally. I feel like I have no control over my life. I don't see a happy future. <p>My H is anxious for the divorce to be over. He thinks that then he can establish his life with his OW and the kids. THat hurts so bad. I am having trouble dealing with my feelings of rejection and I don't feel very hopeful about my life. I still have the support of many friends--but even here at MB, I feel like I have already said everything that could be said. I don't know how to move on. <p>For the first time in my life, I am ready for school to start again--so that I will be too busy to think anymore. <p>Sorry, this isn't very uplifting...I just feel so empty.

Well, I would have loved to hear those three words, but H actually bought me gifts from the kids as well as a gift for us from Santa as well as a wonderful leather coat. A mushy card accompanied the gift! Total surprise for me. Okay, so he still can't sign the card with "love" but the sentiment was there and it was a fun card as well. He gave me lots of hugs and kisses too.

Our Christmas was great. STBX had the boys Sun & Christmas Eve. I got everything finished without being witch mama to them,when they returned the boys & I drove through our neighborhood to look at lights. Our neighborhood is KNOWN for the lights, we wanted to check out the lights on a house that has had court orders aginst it because of one grouchy neighbor, they were finally lite, what a show, our car did recieve a nice sign from the nice or naughty meter.<p>Christmas day was great STBX came in less than 12 hrs he had driven 4 1/2 hrs, but oh well. I thought he just be there for opening of presents but he stayed & stayed. I finally had to tell him that we had plans, he stayed until we had to leave.<p>I have to admit that it was nice for us to leave & him not saying he had to go. I had cooked our very tradational Christmas breakfast which STBX ate & he left with candy that I always make.<p>Thanks to STBX YS gave me a very nice mountain bike, so I can ride bikes with YS.<p>Don't know if out plans caused problems with him & OW but if she was smart she didn't say anything.<p>STBX & I are so cordial that it is such a waste that he threw it all away to be with OW. No matter how good it is with them he lost a lot, that he will never recover.<p>Happy Holidays to all. May all of you find peace & Joy in 2002.