My marriage was never a good one. But when it really really started going downhill as my H's EA was just beginning, I was so very lucky to have my Al-Anon recovery program to help me through the next 2 years of hell. I didn't find MB until very late into the whole mess. So I thought maybe I'd share with all of you the things that helped me stay focused on me and working on me during the the months that my H was in his PA.<p>2 weeks after he moved out and his PA began in earnest...I discovered I was pregnant. <p>I would not be here without my 12 step program. Anyway, here goes:<p>This is STILL written on my mirror over my dresser (makes everyone nuts, from my MIL to my housekeeper, but I don't care).<p>this, or something better. But of course, you have to let go of the "this" first.<p>Of course theres my favorite saying in the whole world:<p>Pain is a given, but misery is an option.<p>And the slogans were cheesy sounding, but worked oh so well in the heat of really emotional moments when I couldn't think:<p>How important is it? Let Go and Let God. Keep it simple. Live and Let Live. Easy Does It. Keep an Open Mind. One Day at a Time.<p>And then there is "Just for Today":<p>Just for today I will try to live through this day only, and not tackle all my problems at once. I can do something for twelve hours that would appall me if I felt that I had to keep it up for a life time.<p>Just for today I will be happy. This assumes to be true what Abraham Lincoln said, that “Most folks are as happy as they make up their minds to be.”<p>Just for today I will adjust myself to what is, and not try to adjust everything to my own desires. I will take my "luck" as it comes, and fit myself to it.<p>Just for today I will try to strengthen my mind. I will study; I will learn something useful; I will not be a mental loafer; I will read something that requires effort, thought & concentration.<p>Just for today I will exercise my soul in three ways: I will do somebody a good turn, and not get found out; if anybody knows of it, it will not count. I will do at least two things I don't want to do -- just for exercise. I will not show anyone that my feelings are hurt, they may be hurt, but today I will not show it.<p>Just for today I will be agreeable. I will look as well as I can, dress becomingly, keep my voice low, be courteous, criticize not one bit. I won't find fault with anything, no try to improve or regulate anybody but myself.<p>Just for today I will have a program. I may not follow it exactly, but I will have it. I will save myself from two pests: hurry & indecision.<p>Just for today I will have a quiet half hour all by myself and relax. During this half hour, sometime, I will try to get a better perspective of my life.<p>Just for today I will be unafraid. Especially I will not be afraid to enjoy what is beautiful and to believe that as I give to the world, so the world will give to me.<p>(Reprinted with permission of Al-Anon Family Group Headquarters, Inc., Virginia Beach, VA)<p>And finally, here is a link to an old post: <p>Detachment with Love<p>[ December 28, 2001: Message edited by: BrambleRose ]</p>

Thanks, Rosie - you are an inspiration.<p>Dave

Bramblerose,<p>Thank you for sharing, you seem to be such a strong person to have made it through ell the UGHey stuff in your life. Be oh so very proud of yourself!! We all are proud of you!!<p>Again I was lead to read something here at MB that will help me so much, twice in two days.
It's my parents 40th Anniversary today and I have a big party planned for them and need to get through "Just today".<p>I always look to see if you have posted on a thread of mine as I know it will be sound advice. Thanks Dawn<p>Have a great day, Today!!

thanks again, I have these things posted on my bathroom mirror.. need to start reading them don't I... I have not been in meetings.. I am going daily now... LOVE AND ALANON HUGS TO YOU< THANK YOU FOR BEING HERE< MB HUGS TOO!<p>HONEY

BrambleRose,
THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU <p>And, in case I forgot: THANK YOU!!!! [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img] [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img] [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img] <p>MOM [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img]

Bump ^

Bramble...as always...you post just what is needed at just the right time...<p>Thank you.<p>Cali (Trying Again)

Thanks Bramble,<p>I needed that tonight... I think I will print it out and put on my mirror too. <p>Hopefully, tomorrow will be better!!

In a way dealing with an affair is alot like living with an alcoholic, though it is worse.. alcoholics may not willingly hurt you.. but the A is wililng and cruel.. althought you can say alcoholism is... A can be an addiction / or is, just like alcohol...<p>ANYWAY, I wanted to share.. thanks for everyones support of me in these last few days of true turmoil since christmas eve for me...<p>OK, Here's my quote for the day:<p>I MAY NOT LIKE THE SITUATION I AM IN< BUT I CAN LIKE ME IN IT><p>HUGS< HONEY

<blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr>I MAY NOT LIKE THE SITUATION I AM IN< BUT I CAN LIKE ME IN IT><hr></blockquote><p>Now THERE is a wise saying. I'd forgotten that one! Sounds like you know what to write on YOUR bedroom mirror...hmmm? [img]images/icons/wink.gif" border="0[/img]