I will make this brief - but would love to get feedback on this.

I have a very close friend who is involved with a MM with 2 kids and 1 about to be born. She is separated herself and nearing divorce. She also has three kids. He has left his wife and is basically living with her. He has never been faithful to his wife - so he tells her, but says he wants to be with her forever. I have tried to talk to her (I am a former BW), but she thinks this is different and that they will make it. There is more to this and I will answer questions if you have any.

My gut feeling is that he is a typical MM and he probably does think he is in love with her. She also says she wants to spend the rest of her life with him.

Any thoughts - advice?

How special.

Sounds like they deserve each other.

How sad.

I'll really stick my neck out here <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> and predict: doomed to failure.

Your efforts are admirable, but I bet you feel like you're talking to a wall, right?

WAT

Your friend is in for a long stay at the HEARTBREAK HOTEL. Be a friend to her and advise her to get out while she has some dignity and self respect left.

Peace
Zoey

He is not telling your friend anything different from what he told his wife. Amazing that women are really stupid enough to fall for that. What he did to his wife, he WILL do to her, she can count on it.

So sorry that you've been dragged into this situation because of your friendship. Actually, there is NOTHING you can say or do that will make a great deal of difference.

You're friend has made a choice that is loaded with pitfalls and potholds, but it is her choice.

They're trying to become an instant couple before all the dust has settled is not going to make for an easy journey for anyone involved. But then, we can't rewrite history and have them make wise decisions.

But, people are foolish and unwise when they believe they are "in love". It's possible that he is exactly the typical MM...but it's possible that he's not. Whatever type of MM he might be...he's got a track record now of leaving a woman when she's carring his child. Not a good one to start out with. jmho

If you wish to continue your friendship with this woman, then tread carefully. Be supportive of her, without being accepting of her choices in life...a hard line to walk. She's your friend...I'm afraid that if things progress the way they so often do...she's going to need you very much in the future. Even if they end up together, the pain and confusion that a person goes through when dealing with divorce ends many a relationship which started as an affair.

Maybe direct her to this site? Or print out some of the info from the info pages of this site and give them to her?

Unfortunately, she might not want her fantasy bubble burst right now. Be cautious, though, that she is not using you to play one of the character roles in her game if that is not a role you want to play.

Good luck

Thanks for all of your feedback. I know anything I say to her doesn't sink in right now. I can be there for her, but as one of you said, I don't want to be part of the game. I have stopped giving my opinion and just listen, because when I offer my opinion, she gets a little angry or finds someone who agrees with her.

I also am disappointed in her, because I feel it is so wrong to expose young children to this. I can forsee this damaging our friendship.

Thanks again everyone. Talk to you later.