What's the response when you think the WS has been with the OW upon returning home?

Don't ask questions? Ignore? I guess you don't say what I would want to say, "you've been with her, haven't you?

You've got it - keep your mouth shut. There's nothing you can say without it being a huge LB. So don't say it.

Now this is NOT to say that you don't tell him how much it hurts you to see him continuing with his A. I am a firm believer that WS's should be reminded occasionally that what they're doing is wrong and has consequences. Otherwise they will get comfortable with the idea of having their cake & eating it too. But confronting him when he comes through the door is probably not a good time to say something like this.

Sometimes you have to pretend you don't know. Even when it kills you. Then you can avoid the confrontation and continue your Plan A.

I know you were wondering about sharing the same bed and SF. My advice is share the same bed. In fact, you can use the opportunity to offer him a nice relaxing back rub. Be affectionate but no sex. If he wants sex, I would request that he get tested for STDs first. Just say to him, you know there's a lot of germs out there- some asymptomatic- herpes, chlamydia, genital warts, not to mention AIDS. You don't want to take a chance. But you could engage in safe sex with him. It's up to you.

My WS isn't home yet. I know now that they have typically gotten together on Friday nights. How have you learned to cope with this. I feel crazy in thinking about what they are doing together and there is nothing that I can do to stop it.

Hold on, mimi1254, I know you feel like you're about to lose it. I too thought I couldn't go another minute without screaming & going crazy. But somehow I held on. And you can too.

What helps? Talking, talking, and more talking. For me, that kept me sane. I reached out to all my friends (and people I didn't even KNOW were friends and now are). I asked for their help and they gave it to me. They listened to me for hours, and they let me cry and yell and curse, and then they forced me out of the house to do things even when all I wanted was crawl in bed & hide.

When I was up till 2, 3 in the morning & all my friends were asleep, I'd come out on this website & "talk" to everyone here. Or I would read some more on MB principles and Plan A and Plan B, then think about what I wanted to do to save my M. Coming up with a plan, a way forward, made me feel like I had some control over the situation.

It does get better, mimi, really it does. I can still remember feeling like you do now. Sometimes I'd feel like I must go crazy thinking about them together, knowing that my WH was living with this OW and that in a month he'd be back living with me. But somehow I kept going, and I think trying to live MB principles, going forward with my plan, helped get me through. It really works. I know it saved me. Even though it didn't save my M.

Keep posting and talking and reading and learning here. Take care. And don't LB! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

I know I should not be here. I tried another thread, although I am going in circles. I came here along time ago from the infidelty site which now they charge 30 dollars for a year. Money I don't have. I have been here reading on EN thread, about a man GSN from the beginning his story and followed it through to his divorcing.
Disappointing to me.
Although, he too mentioned this Plan A...he did for a year an a half!!!!!!
I came away from this with, that he used it to hopefully get his wife back, with her into a full Affair, yet, he could not find himself giving of himself sexually to her when the time had come up different times between them. His words, " I just can't" I did sense that he may have at the near end of them living together, yet she slept in their bedroom and he took the basement all this time. I think because he did while drunk and he can't remember or doesn't mention it as far as did it do any good. However, he mentioned something must had happened between them that wasn't very good, for he never mentioned making love to his wife, yet he gave a clue that it did happen and his younger daughter was now sleeping with his wife. A very short time after this he and she went toward divorcing she found an apartment and moved out with the girls. His daughters, the ones he was fighting for custody but then let them go....so why I bring this up is because of the Plan A!
What is this for how long is this suppose to be a beneficial for what length of time?
In his case I saw him using it for his means of getting her out of their house, which they had to sell anyway......just is confusing. My dilemma is the same yet different for I started going to another board on this site for my situation yet there isn't enough of help there.....I hope I have made myself clear, if not please reply to me here. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Embarrassed]" src="images/icons/blush.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" /> <img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" /> BT