Hubby says he hoves me but he's not IN love with me..He told me he doesn't want to leave, but he wants out..he said he doesn't want anyone else, that OW was just a one time thing...In my heart, I don't believe that..he wants to be able to come and go when he wants to..and he wants me to stop talking to him about our relationship everyday...after 14 years of loving me with everything in his heart, is it possible for that love to just suddenly die? He let me go, and I came back to him, and now he doesn't want me. He said he built his world around me, and it all came crashing down...six months ago, he was still in love with me...and he still wanted me in his life forever...now he says he is not in love with me, and that he can't be...what do I do with that? What if he can never find it again? What if his love for me is gone forever? I am terrified..I don't know what to do...Please help me...it is still fresh about the OW..and I am scared to death to let him go...OH God I want to die....

Regretting -

You need to pull yourself together! What's done is done and now you need to step away from your emotional reaction. If you want your H, you need to learn some NEW behaviors.

Have you read all of the things that are available on this site? Start there. If you WANT this bad enough, you can have it. You HAVE to be willing to CHANGE.

Your Husband DOES LOVE you. He is NOW in the FOG! It's time to do some serious work on YOU. Do you attend church? Is there counseling available through there? You need to get a plan in place.

But what if he doesn't? What if he is seeing clearly now, and was in the FOG before? And what do I need to read? I have read about LB..and I am trying not to do any of them...I have read about EN..and he says he doesn't have any..He says he feels nothing but indifference...What do I do?

Have you read about PLAN A?
This is what you need to start practicing. Yes no LB's, but there's more to it. Work on yourself, and be as loving as you can to him. He is not gone for good. He is running away from his problems.

What IF's are only going to drive you CRAZY! Stop thinking negatively. Have confidence in who you are. I know it's hard because you just found out, but think about YOU.

From reading your posts I have the impression that for you (pain and punishment=love). You need to understand that it doesn't have to be this way. You can change it.

From reading your posts I know that what I'm going to say may seem like asking you to climb Mt Everest but I beleive that it needs to be said.

Your negativity is as attractive as sitting next to someone in the theatre afraid that the place is going to burn down at any moment. Don't you think that your H can pick on your fear? Do you think he is attracted by it? Do you beleive that your negativity is going to help you to NOT love bust your H?

You've got to start to develop a positive mental attitude that will help to comfort and support you thru these most difficult times in your life. How can you do that? well you can start by recognizing and writting on paper the blessings you have in your life in the form of your children, the health of all your family members (including yourself), and your job. As hard as it is for you to beleive, there are people out there whose lives are in far worse condition than yours and would trade places with you in an instant.

I'm not invalidating in any way shape or form your feelings, but just letting you know that if you let their negativity take possesion of your mind, your life will not change at all and will continue on the same track it's been for countless years. Like Kily said, what's done is done and you can't change it, but you can most certainly change what's to come if you change your outlook on life.

Peace be with you.