Welcome to the
Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum

This is a community where people come in search of marriage related support, answers, or encouragement. Also, information about the Marriage Builders principles can be found in the books available for sale in the Marriage Builders® Bookstore.
If you would like to join our guidance forum, please read the Announcement Forum for instructions, rules, & guidelines.
The members of this community are peers and not professionals. Professional coaching is available by clicking on the link titled Coaching Center at the top of this page.
We trust that you will find the Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum to be a helpful resource for you. We look forward to your participation.
Once you have reviewed all the FAQ, tech support and announcement information, if you still have problems that are not addressed, please e-mail the administrators at mbrestored@gmail.com
Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
#29424 11/11/99 09:00 AM
Joined: Apr 1999
Posts: 185
N
Member
Member
N Offline
Joined: Apr 1999
Posts: 185
I have read many posts on this board from people who are debating whether to have an affair or not. I got the following letter from my now ex-wife's OM after I contacted his wife. I contacted her part out of revenge and part because I don't think anyone should get away with ruining other peoples lives and NOT pay some consequence. Sadly innocent people get hurt sometimes. It sure doesn't sound like he thinks it was worth it. I post it for those 'fence sitters' that maybe one of them will read it and it might prevent even just one person from stepping over the line to have an affair and destroying other families like it destroyed mine and the OMs. <P><BR>"Just because you haven’t heard from me, don’t assume I<BR>have no sorrow or remorse or regrets. You have no idea<BR>how many sleepless nights I’ve been through as a<BR>result of this. You have no idea how much I’ve prayed<BR>and wished I could undo what I’d done.<BR>I would never and never have ever intentionally hurt<BR>anyone.<BR> I can only say that I am truly sorry for the pain and<BR>sorrow I’ve caused as a result of this horrendous<BR>mistake I’ve made and will deeply regret it for as<BR>long as I live.<BR> I would like to know that you will keep your word as<BR>you said in your letter that you will stop causing my<BR>soon to be ex wife any more pain and hurt by sending<BR>her and I reminders of what has happened now that<BR>you’ve heard from me as you requested.<BR>Please send me an email to assure me that you’ve read<BR>this letter and that you will keep your word.<BR> I sincerely hope that this letter is what will put<BR>what has transpired the past couple of years to an end<BR>and behind you and allow you to get on with your life." end<P>How ugly infidelity is; how deep is the hate it engenders! Sadly I still weld the hammer over this guy. He sneaks around and is a part in ruining my marriage and then talks to me about 'keeping my word'like honor is now something he expects out of ME!. He wasn't worried about such altruistic concepts as 'honor' and 'keeping my word' when he was getting in my wife's pants. But now I am suppose to let by gones be by gones, to do the 'right thing' by him and his soon to be ex like this is a TV movie or an episode of Waltons Mountain where in the end all is forgiven. My marriage is over, my life in shambles. Tell me why should I EVER give a rats behind about his life?<P><BR>

#29425 11/11/99 10:56 AM
Joined: Jan 1999
Posts: 631
W
Member
Member
W Offline
Joined: Jan 1999
Posts: 631
<BR> <BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR> He wasn't worried about such altruistic concepts as 'honor' and 'keeping my word' when he was getting in my wife's pants.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>Nope... while embroiled in the fantasy of the affair, right and wrong really don’t mean a lot. It’s sad, but true... there are way too many depressing examples of it here. But I will tell you, once the “fog” lifts, the remorse and realization of the damage you have done is very, very real. I know that doesn’t really do you a lot of good now, and you are likely even happy he is suffering now, but looking back on the destruction caused is very sobering. <P> <BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR> But now I am suppose to let by gones be by gones, to do the 'right thing' by him and his soon to be ex ...Tell me why should I EVER give a rats behind about his life?<HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>You shouldn’t... but sitting there with your hammer and wallowing in the hatred you feel will destroy <B>you.</B> You’ve wielded your hammer, made sure he didn’t get away with it, and it’s time to work on YOU.<P>I <B>DO</B> hope your post will affect even one person (or more) as you hoped. You’re right... it needs to be done <B>before</B> the affair takes hold. Once embroiled in the fantasy, all the logic in the world sadly means nothing.<P><P>------------------<BR>Resentment is like taking poison and waiting for the other person to die


Moderated by  Fordude 

Link Copied to Clipboard
Forum Search
Who's Online Now
0 members (), 405 guests, and 41 robots.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Newest Members
vivian alva, Zion9038xe, renki, Gocroswell, Allen Inverson
72,027 Registered Users
Latest Posts
How important is it to get the whole story?
by still seeking - 07/24/25 01:29 AM
Annulment reconsideration help
by abrrba - 07/21/25 03:05 PM
Help: I Don't Like Being Around My Wife
by abrrba - 07/21/25 03:01 PM
Following Ex-Wifes Nursing Schedule?
by Roger Beach - 07/16/25 04:21 AM
My wife wants a separation
by Roger Beach - 07/16/25 04:20 AM
Spying husband arrested
by coooper - 06/24/25 09:19 AM
Forum Statistics
Forums67
Topics133,624
Posts2,323,523
Members72,028
Most Online6,102
Jul 3rd, 2025
Building Marriages That Last A Lifetime
Copyright © 2025, Marriage Builders, Inc. All Rights Reserved.
Site Navigation
Powered by UBB.threads™ PHP Forum Software 8.0.0