Still trying,
Just wanted to say that getting the love you want is one of my favorite books. Harville really knows what he is talking about so I hope it helps. Good luk and keep us posted with updates.
Fog sucks,
Hugs,
Layli

Spasecase-

I am tring to keep an open mind to these new things in my life. My friends and family also are amazed at the changes in me. I have been trying to take an unbiased, in-depth look into myself and see what I find. My counselor and the Harville book has helped, the little bit of calming my mind/meditation I have been doing has been amazing.

Layli-

Harville has helped me to take a look at myself and see what makes me tick. I thas also helped me figure out why I chose to marry my W even though we had our issues before mariage. I thas also helped me understand why I am still hanging on to my M. I have another Harville book that I have not read yet, it is further down the reading pile, but I will read it as soon as possible.

STTSI

Nope, don't live in MN.. actually, I live in Houston! And I agree with Spacecase.. we have all the tools we need, we just need to find the key to unlock them. Looking outside (which is what my H has done) will provide only a temporary fix.

You can find classes by looking on the internet (I use Google, and you can put in the subject, like mindfullness, and your city..) or if you have alternative press - if you can't find classes, you can find tapes and/or books to use.

-almost50

<small>[ January 16, 2003, 10:34 PM: Message edited by: almost50 ]</small>

almost50- thanks I will let you know of my progress.

STTSI

STTS,
I learned to meditate right around the time my wife's A started and the meditation saved me. I practiced it daily and today my wife and I are together again very happily married meditating together. We learned a meditation called the Inner Light and Sound Meditaion or Sant Mat. It is very simple to learn and always free. At your initial sitting you come into contact with your Soul and from then on your daily meditations start strenghtening your Soul. You can do it on your own at home, but it helps to meditate with others especially your spouse! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />
As your Soul beomes stronger through the meditations you start living as Soul and your reactions to life's ordeals are not so strong. Your mind is calmer and quieter and your Soul with all of its Godly qualities (peace, Love, wisdom, patience) become stronger.
Call 1-877-meditate to talk to someone.
site: www.santmat.net

tofu- I will look into it and see what I can come up with. How important is it to meditate with others? I have no friends or family that would be willing to do this with me and my WW is not speaking to me. I was thinking of taking some classes to learn how and then doing it from home as often as possible.

STTSI

STTS,
It is not necessary at all to meditate with others. After you learn it which takes about three hours you can do it on your own for ever. There are never more classes or anything. What happened with me was that I started changing after I started meditating. I became calmer, more patient, and more peaceful. My mom felt something different about me. She said to me that I had changed somehow but she wasn´t sure what it was. After a few days that I had been at her house she realized that I had become a more relaxed and calmer person. She said I want what you have. Today seven more people in my family have learned to meditate. When you become a flower, your lovely fragrance starts affecting all those around you!

Meditation is something you do alone entirely. You might want a "partner" only if it will help you get motivated to actually go somewhere and learn, otherwise it is entirely unnecessary.

Many say that the only way to REALLY learn is by direct contact with a teacher, and I'll be attending a Raja-Yoga weekend for that, but the truth is, you can do a lot on your own if you spend the time and put in the effort.

Here is an excellent site with a very complete course and explanation. This one's Buddhist.

Wildmind