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Joined: Nov 2002
Posts: 21
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Joined: Nov 2002
Posts: 21
Hi All,

H & I are trying to figure out what went wrong. We've gone through discussing EN although he hasn't filled out the questionnaire yet. I have, but he hasn't seen it yet. All he keeps saying is that there is nothing wrong with me. There's something wrong with him.

Tonight, he says that maybe his problems are really related to abandonment issue with his mother, and things he saw growing up.

I would really like to know your thoughts on this.

Thanks,

SF3

Joined: Dec 2002
Posts: 684
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Sunflower-

I would suggest you get the book Getting the Love you want by Harville Hendricks. That book talks about how our childhood experiences affect the mate we choose and the role we play in marriage. You both may have some issues that neither one of you knew about.

If you are not alread seeing a counselor I would suggest you find one. Sounds like this might be a breakthrough, don't get your hopes set too high, but be there for him and be supportive if he is going to try to change.

Joined: Dec 2002
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Good luck with nursing school!

Joined: Nov 2002
Posts: 21
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Joined: Nov 2002
Posts: 21
Still Trying,

Thanks for the info on the book & the encouragement. I will look for the book this weekend.

As for marriage counseling, we had one session before Christmas. Then counselor went on vacation. Some days, I consider that an omen. However, after talking to the OW, confronting my H with OW info, found out that what H told me and what he told the counselor was all lies. So basically, we hand a counseling session that helped a little?? H says he will go to counseling. So I have a phone call to the counselor about re-scheduling. H is also Mr. Conflict Avoidance, so he really isn't looking forward to going into his past.

SF3


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