Well, papers have not been filed yet. I am waiting to get them back from lawyer so I can give them to her so she can file. I should get them today, but she leaves today, so it will be atleast another week before they are filed.
We had a nice tlk last night, she tells me she is really confused. She just wants her space, and that is a problem w/ OM. She says she just wants to be alone alot, but with me there she doesn't have anywhere to call her own, or to be alone. It hurts but I am moving out this week while she is gone. I will have the kids and when she comes home she can come get them or leave them with me. I plan on having them as much as I can. I couldn't sleep last night thinking of her leaving, but yet I let her lay by my side this morning. I get the feeling she still wants me but has to start new, I JUST DON"T KNOW ANYMORE! So I will continue wuth my plan, I can't do this anymore.
CD

I can't do this anymore.

Everyone is given the ability to get through their trials. I have always been helped through mine, you will be helped through yours.

Don't give up on God, but just as important, have faith in your self and your ability to make this work. I am sorry it only comes to us a little bit at a time, but help always comes when we need it. CD, you have done more than many could have done, keep on yet a little while, you will make this.

It does sound like you have a plan, I suggest you continue to follow through with it.

SS

am waiting to get them back from lawyer so I can give them to her so she can file. I should get them today, but she leaves today, so it will be atleast another week before they are filed.
What makes you think she will file when she gets the papers back from you?

I think she will file because everything she says is revolved around getting the papers back so we can get them filed. I wasn't going to sign but I really think I am ready and want to. I can't handle the fighting any more. If she doesn't, great maybe there is hope. But I truely believe it will happen, but I don't think the war is lost yet. I feel there maybe a chance to have the family again depending on if I want it and how bad. I just can fight anymore. Or I guess I should say I am just changing the angle of attack. This angle just isn't working.
CD

CD I know this is a very scary time in your life and your probably thinking that if you do get a D your life won't ever be happy again. I'm here to tell you that I was married for 16 year have two children and thought that I would never find happiness again. Well its been a year since my D and I fought for custody of my kids I now live in a new home with my two kids and making a new life for myself. It is a very hard thing to go through but know that if you do get a D you are going to be OK you will survive just focus on your kids and take care of yourself. Once you set a path for yourself and you put time behind your back you will slowly feel better about yourself.
hang in there for your kids and yourself.

carl

CD:

"We had a nice tlk last night, she tells me she is really confused. She just wants her space, and that is a problem w/ OM. She says she just wants to be alone alot, but with me there she doesn't have anywhere to call her own, or to be alone. "

I wouldn't bet that she'll file when she gets back, but it will actually be interesting to see what she does then, as opposed to how she's behaving toward you now. Reason I say this is in the quote from you, above. Has she ever spent this much time alone with OM before? If she really just "wants to be alone" then being with OM for a week might just be an opportunity for her to taste a bit of reality for a change. The fantasy will be interspersed with moments of guilt WITH her "partner in crime" there to feedback on those feelings. It won't all be peachy all the time, and so my humble prediction is that she'll learn SOMETHING by the experience. We can hope, at least?

But continue with your plan. It will be just as good for her facing reality as having to live the down moments with OM as well as the fantasy for the next week.

And SS is right. You will find, as you live through these trials, that you ARE equipped to handle them. We all are. And that's coming from me, an atheist. I never would have thought I would make it months after D-day unless my W were to immediately agree to NC, and here I am 1 year later and still no NC agreement. And you know what? My 1-yr anniversary was a very good day! Not a trigger in sight. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

-Qfwfq

City Dweller,
I can see you're tired and don't feel like fighting anymore. During the week she is gone use try to make some time to do fun things with the kids and to rest up your self.
You can do more than you ever thought you could. Your challenges look harder before you do them than after they have been done.
I looked back on 2 1/2 yrs of rollercoaster and know at the start I "couldn't" do IT, but looking back on it now it is all a blur.
I still think I Played fair most of the time.

D.

<small>[ January 22, 2003, 08:41 PM: Message edited by: Daniel ]</small>

CD,

I just caught up on your thread. Sounds like Plan B is all that is left. Is this correct?

Could you still try to delay the any legal paperwork? Would doing a Plan B take some of the pressure off her to push you for papers? Is there any harm in finding that out at this point?

More questions than answers, I know.

Hang in there.