Our 9th anniversary will be coming up the end of this month. I'm not exactly sure what to do. Wife said she wanted to go home to visit her parents in another state, but she couldn't find a good date open.

I suggested the week of our anniversary and she said no because I would probably want to do something since it meant something to me.

I'm not sure how to take that. Does that mean she does want to do something? Or is she just trying to be nice to me again?

Before all of this blew up I had already taken a couple of days off work, I was going to take her to a nice hotel away from here and have a long romantic weekend. That's out of the question now.

I was thinking I would take her shopping, pick up some books she's been wanting and to lunch. Nothing real special, but at least we would be together.

I'm looking for suggestions here. Any idea's? She's still VERY persistant about leaving. She says as soon as she can afford a place of her own she's going. This is contrary to her original statement, and promises she made (she says she didn't) to me about staying until this summer.

Well, I asked her if she wanted to do anything, or what she wanted to do. She said she didn't care, she would do something because it would mean something to me, and it was my holliday.

Still not sure how to take that. But, I could really use some advise. We're in the middle of our roller coaster from hell, but the last few days have been better.

Anybody have any suggestions?

Hi TM-

Wondering how things are.

THe fact that she is willing to do something (although making excuses about it) tells me that she still has the feelings for you. It's important to her that you aren't hurt on this day.

Personally, I wouldn't push much. You might want to suprise HER by taking part of the day off, sneaking home and making a romantic dinner for HER. You could do the candle thing and eat with soft music in the background. Then you might draw HER a bubble bath, pour her some wine and have her relax in the water by candle light.

When shes done bathing, you could offer her a towel and then dry her off. Perhaps you could buy her a wonderful pajama set - could be sexy, but sensual is probably the better way to go - and have her unwrap the gift in the bathroom.

When she dresses for bed, you could sneak into the bedroom and place rose petals on the bed. There could be candles in their too. You might hide a card under ger pillow with a little piece of jewelry that lets her know that you care. I wouldn't buy diamonds right now, but a pin or some pretty earrings would do fine.

Basically, treat her as if SHE was a princess! Don't make it about YOU.

Also - Look for NOTHING in return. This is about your showing HER what your love fpr her means to you.......

You could ask her, if there was one thing in the world that would be great for her, what would she like to do! Then go from there.

I wouldn't expect too much. She says, as soon as she gets enough money she will leave. But just be loving, kind, show compassion, and listen. She is showing you that there are feelings. So take it little by little.

Good Luck.

Faith/Kily THANKS, I really do appreciate it because I'm lost right now.

I've asked her questions similar to what you mentioned Faith, and I get no response. So....

Ok, tell me how this sounds: She's been wanting to go to a book store for some specific books. The store's 2 hours away and she hasn't had the time. I've already got the time off work, so I thought we would swing up there. Go to the store, have some lunch, etc.

I had planned on a dinner out, but I think I might take your suggestion and make something at home. And Kily, I LOVE the bubble bath idea, I know she would love that. We've already got a bottle of wine in the fridge. Maybe we'll hit Bath & Body Works while we're up there and get some of those little fizzy balls for the tub.

Since she's started sleeping in PJ's now, I guess that would be an appropriate gift as well. Now, tell me how this might go over. A few months ago she took our wedding invitation into a frame shop to get professionally framed. She never had the money to go back and get it (she paid for a picture for me instead), but she talked about it constantly. I've made arrangements to pick it up the day before our anniversary. Do you think this is a good idea? Might she take it the wrong way?

The fact that you know that Bath and Body sells fizzy bath balls is incredible. The fact that you know anything like a fizzy bath ball is even produced is nothing short of AMAZING!!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" />

Can the kids go to grandma's for the night? Might make the bath alot less stressful. Also, just an idea, what about going to the mall and getting one of those aqua massages? You too - it's your anniversary too, ya know!
DB

TM-

I like the idea of picking up the invitations and giving it to her. You could include a card inside that simply states - I did this because I knew how much it meant to you...This way the pressure is off, but the sentimentality is still there.

Sounds like a plan is forming......what will you make for dinner?

DB, ha ha ha... Yes I'm a man, but I do pay attention (sometimes) to what makes her happy. We used to buy the fuzzy bath balls all the time when we had our garden tub. She loved them.

We have no family in the area, so the kids will be home after school. I thought about asking a friend if they could come over there for the evening. But, I was afraid that might put pressure on her, and it's a school night. What do you think?

Kily,
I have no idea what I will make for dinner. The past few weeks I've been expanding my horizons from sloppy joes and burgers to Oven Fried Chicken, BBQ Chicken, etc. "Complex" meals as she calls it. I guess I'll have to do some brainstorming and maybe throw out a few feelers to see what she might like.
Thanks guys...