My husband and I have been married for 10 years. We just (in December) had our third child. So many things have happened in our marriage, I don't know where to begin. Actually, I can't possibly tell everything that has happened in this post, but I will tell some of the relevant information. We had a very tumultuous relationship when we were dating. We broke up several times in a year and a half. Honestly, I never thought we would end up married, but we did. I have always thought that my husband acts as if I am not good enough for him. So often, I have wondered why he married me. Anyway, we have gone through times when I had no appetite for sex and times when he didn't. For the past year or more he has not wanted sex much while I have. The problem that I have is that he doesn't act like he wants to have sex with me, but he looks at pornography almost on a daily basis. We have had countless fights over this, but he continues to do it, he just hides it better. Also, when we got out together he looks at every slightly attractive woman and ignores me. He never wants to spend any time with me talking or doing anything else. When we are out together he acts like we are more brother and sister that husband and wife. What is wrong with me? Why does my husband act this way even after we've been married for 10 years? What can I do to change things in my marriage? I don't know how much longer I am supposed to live like this. Any advice would be helpful. Thank you!
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amanda28- did you post this question somewhere else? It looks really familiar, maybe it is just deja-vu.

Anyway the first thing I would suggest is that you get a copy of "Love Busters" and "His Needs/Her Needs" they are both available at the bookstore at the MB site. Your loss of appetite for sex is most likely caused by some emotional needs not being met and the one experiencing the loss is just witholding sex as a way to get even for not meeting those needs. His need for porn is probably because he is not happy with you and instead of telling you that he just releases his need through porn. That way he gets his sexual release and you don't get any sex. It is a win-win for him.

Good luck!
STTSI

Yes, I did post this message somewhere else, but I wasn't receiving any responses to it so I decided to try again. Anyway, you are saying that my husband uses porn because he's not happy with me. If that were the case wouldn't almost every woman's husband be unhappy with her? I hope that is not the case because I try to make him happy. I'm the one with the appetite for sex right now, but he does not want it near as much as I do. This seems really strange to me because I thought that men would take sex whenever they could get it. Am I wrong?