I have a problem and need some advise. Ive been married to my wife for 8 yrs now and we have a wonderful little boy about to turn 5. Sounds awful, huh? The problem is that my wife continues to get us in financial problems with credit cards I have no idea she has obtained. Last year it was 6K on a card and we will be trying to dig out of that hole for years. Now she has gotten overdraft protection at a bank and wrapped that out too. All the while she is lying to me about it. Otherwise she is a wonderful wife and mother and separation is not an option, but pretty soon we will be on the road to bankruptcy, please, any advise would be very helpful!

She needs counseling. There is a reason why she has to shop like she does.

I think there is support groups also for people who have to shop like there is no tomorrow.

Good luck. I have to be quick here, otherwise I would say more.

Are you my SIL??? One of my DD's has this problem. She can NOT control her spending if she has a credit card. So...she doesn't have them any longer. Well, she has one with a very low credit limit for emergencies...and her H makes sure that he sees that bill every month.

Credit card companies bombard us with free interest, low interest, low payments, swapping balances, etc...they come every day in the mail. So getting a card isn't hard at all. Then after they've got you...up goes the interest, up goes the payments...and up goes the balances which never seem to go down.

It is a problem...she may need some professional help with dealing with it. As hard as it can be, you may have to take control of the money, sit down, work out a budget which you both go over every week. Pay bills together...both of you knowing exactly where your cash is going. Make a plan. Agree that anything over "x" amount of dollars needs the aproval of both.

If none of this works...you may have to take stronger action...by separating your credit from hers and allowing her to file for bankruptcy or else get with a credit counseling service which will also end up on her credit histroy for a long time. While this is not the first choice, sometimes it is the best one.

Good Luck!

She needs counseling, maybe you could go with her to counseling. I agree with just a wifey, but if she is not open to realizing she has a problem it will only upset her and she will think you are trying to control her. It is a very delicate situation. Do her parents have that same problem? Maybe they could help you approach her about this? Just a thought.

STTSI

There are several posters over in the Emotional Needs section that are dealing with this issue (this section is primarily for infidelity, although the folks here are very helpful to all that post). But if you want to hear from others in your situation (or farther along in your situation, which is even scarier), try posting there as well. This is a very serious issue that if not fixed, can erode the intimacy and love between you and your wife (and we all know where that can lead). You are wise to deal with this now.

Martes

<small>[ January 18, 2003, 07:19 AM: Message edited by: martes36 ]</small>

Careful here, I know what you are going through. W and credit cards go together like peanut butter and jelly. I slowed my wife down, ($800 month) because we had no more room to put things in our closests. We have a 12 x 10 walk in closet filled to the brim. Talk to her and tell her the importance of budgets and the gray hair she is giving you. But be careful demanding, Her girlfriends and mother will come to her aid, and you will look like the husband who won't take care of his wife. this one can turn in a major LB. My W tells me credit cards to her is like football and beer to me. good luck.