I posted a couple of weeks ago about an ongoing problem with my SO. Received some excellent advice which I followed but now need more help. My SO has always had an interest in porn which I never really had a problem with, although, I do not share the attraction. Since getting a home computer, things have escalated at an alarming rate. At first, he didn't really know how to use the computer, but he quickly learned and from viewing the history, temp files, etc. I noticed he was spending an alarming amount of time viewing porn sites. At first, I passed this off as curiosity, it is a whole new medium when you have not been exposed to it before. But after a few weeks, I found he was spending hours every day while I was at work looking at numerous porn sites. When I mentioned it, he started deleting the history, temp files and cookies. I was getting concerned about that and about a change in his behaviour toward me, so I downloaded a keylogger program and was horrified at the stuff he was looking at. I finally confronted him, without telling him about the keylogger program, and he seemed to take my feelings to heart. I told him it was affecting our relationship, my feelings toward him sexually, and my self-esteem. He promised me he would no longer visit those sites and that he had just got caught up in the newness of it, he was amazed at what was out there. I felt quite good about his reponse but still checked the keylogger program to see what was up. He lasted a week. Last Wednesday (my birthday), I found a huge amount of porn sites listed. When he got home that evening, I casually asked him if he had been on any porn sites. He's a terribe liar and I immediately knew he was feeling guilty. He didn't try to lie, but justified his actions by saying they weren't porn sites, they were foot fetish sites (he is very turned on by women's feet, not to the point of only being satisfied that way, but definitely a turn on for him). The keylogger program I have installed also has a snapshots feature. These are not simply "feet" sites, they are most definitely hard core porn sites and are lumped in with a lot of other nasty stuff. I am tempted to print out a list of all the web sites and snapshots of the graphic details but at this point, I don't think this would be the most constructive thing to do. When he so indignantly told me these were not porn sites, he also informed me that since he wasn't seeing red toenail polish at home, he would look elsewhere. I told him, if he was looking elsewhere, he would never see red toenail polish at home. I don't for a second think this veiled threat (or what I perceive as a veiled threat) is literally about red nail polish. The whole exchange left a very bad taste in my mouth. I am hurt and angry that after explaining to him in a calm, non-confrontational manner how his habits were affecting our relationship that he would justify it in this way and ignore my feelings. Am I wrong? Any advice would be appreciated.
