Dear Dazed,

How are you doing???
Hadn't heard from you in a while and wanted you to know i was thinking about you. Ihope all is well in your world.
Sara

Dear Sara:
I've been wondering about you, too.

Actually, the roller coaster of life is on the upswing as far as M goes. I've had a couple of good days followed by a good weekend. It's amazing how good the mind can be when Quality and Quantity Time is spent with your H.

Also, we are having minor crises with our kids so that takes the mind away from our M problems. DS isn't happy on varsity bball team. All his friends are on Soph team. Teammates are giving him a hard time when he scores points. Some teammates, huh? So he's been pretty upset for a week and it all came to a head in the last couple of days.

It just makes me sad when anyone in my family is sad. I suppose all moms are that way. I would rather be the one that is sad over any of my family members.

DD is playing club volleyball and have found out that at the age of 17 and the MVP on her vball team that she doesn't really know anything about vball! She's been taught wrong OR not taught the right things all these years. Her coaches are really working hard with her because they see potential there. But I think she was just on new information overload and couldn't process all the new info! So she's been upset over the weekend.

H is going through a stressful time at work. He's being elected to their board of directors this week at a big annual meeting. He spent the whole lunch hour venting to me about the board meeting today and all the people on it. It was actually really nice to have him confide in me. He works in such a confidential job and I know it's hard for him to tell me and hard for him not to tell me, if you know what I mean! We even got into a little R talk at noon, but I steered us OUT of that because I think we have enough to worry about for awhile!

Really, no time for me to be upset!

H and I are planning a trip to Florida with another couple in March. She is my BF and her mom and dad have a condo down there. We've NEVER done anything like this before - without the kids in the middle of winter! Wow! The only thing is, she's so skinny and pretty - she does hair so her the phrase "bad hair day" is foreign language to her! And to have to go to FLA and hang by the pool with her isn't going to be as much fun as going somewhere where I can keep my JEANS on!!! She's been tanning - cuz she has a tanning bed at work. I don't have the time to tan and not sure if I really want to.

Oh, well. She's been my BF since 7th grade so it's not like I'm jealous of her or anything. Just wishing I could lose 15 pounds without really trying to!!!!!!

Well I am sure that is way more info than you wanted to know!

Write me back and let me know how it is going with you!!!
K

who me,

I love to know what is going on in other peoples world. It actually makes me feel better. I'm sorry about your sons team mates, yuck. They should be glad he is scoring. And vollyball, yea my favorite. She will get it. A trip to Florida, AWESOME, I go every year. Nothing like sun and sand to give a body perspective. I am on the Atkins diet, i want to lose about 15 pounds too. When you 5'1" 15 pounds is a lot. I hope you have a marvelous vacation.
Have a good day,
sara

Dear Dazed
My gut is working overtime and i am so scared.
Today is H birthday. Day started out good than got bad in a hurry. Everthing is always wrong. Anyway. I have called his several times. He has always been really cranky with me. This last time he was rushing off of the phone. Probably at her house. Don't want to say anything that is going to escalate this day into TERRIBLE/ CATASTROPHIC, which it will be if i ask him if he was with her. I DON"T KNOW WHAT TO DO. I keep trying to make it work alone. its not working.
BAD DAY
sara

Oh, Sara, I'm so sorry for the state you are in!!!

Are you doing a good plan A? Are you taking care of yourself? Did you check for a counselor?

What about your minister or did I ask you that already?

You can't keep this up any longer. You have to do something. Expose, Plan B, something. It's not good for you.

Sorry I didn't see this post earlier!

Take care, hang in there!
DB

Dazed,

Thanks for replying,

I'm sick from worrying yesterday i guess. But i did find a counselor. Care counseling - $70 appointment for Feb 6th. at 5:30, no reason not to go I HOPE.

He had a horrible birthday - not really my fault, just happened. He said he and OW barly talked yesterday. She didn't remember his birthday. Anyway, he was drinking and talkative last night. He wants me to believe they are just friends. He doesn't understand that i cant live with it. I guess i will wait for the counselor to cross that bridge.

Another thing that worried me while he was talking is that he said "sex" had ruined his life and he was glad he wasn't as interested in S as before. What now??? I ask him if it had to do with me and he said no, but he wondered if why our s life was good now is because i feel like i am competing with ow. anyway another bump in the road. thanks for listening
Hope you have a good day.
sara

Sara -
I hope you know that as long as he his "friends" with this woman it is still an affair. Whatever type you want to call it, if you believe he isn't getting SF from her than it's an EA which is still an affair!!!

He HAS to stop all contact with her! I know you know that and I desparately hope this counselor tells him that, too. If not, get another one!

It's not fair to you that he gets "bummed out" because she forgot his bday!

Is he going with you or are you going alone?

I'm soo glad you are going to a counselor. I do admire that and am a little jealous. I really thought we would end up going. Oh, well, there's always next time!!(cruel joke).
Karin