My story: July 02, WH admits to fifteen years or so of addiction to prostitutes, and four affairs in the last seven years, the most recent of which 'cured' him of his SA.

I was sceptical: I have never believed that an addiction can be cured by simply 'meeting the right person'. It seemed to me that he had simply transeferred the object of his addiction to something else, and his inability to completely break with OW#4 suggested to me that he was scared that, without her, the addictive tendencies would return.

Last week, after he had visited her city flat, I lost all patience with him and asked him to move out (more or less Plan B, after six months of energetic Plan A). He moved out briefly to a motel, then came back and set about looking for a small flat (we're in the UK, as you can tell!).

He looked like death since I asked him to leave - really awful. He tried to change my mind, but I'd really had enough.

Monday, on some instinct, I asked him if he'd been with anyone else since we were last intimate. He went stiff and white, and eventually told me that he'd succumbed to his old habits, and visited a prostitute on his way home from work in the city. He said that he'd had no control over his actions - even as he was doing it, he was thinking it was insane, but couldn't stop himself. As he told me, he was shaking all over and crying - his distress was clear.

So now, bizarrely, I feel at peace with things. We both know that my base instinct was right - that he has an addictive problem that stems primarily from HIM, and now that he's admitted it to himself, we have a chance of sorting it out. He admits that the OW 'cure' is a chimera, and that she is not the answer.

So he's still here, and I feel we have reached a kind of bottom level. I never thought I'd ever feel relieved to uncover my husband's addiction to whores, but here I am. Has anyone lese faced this situation? What did you do?

<small>[ January 24, 2003, 01:25 PM: Message edited by: TogetherAlone ]</small>