In speaking to wife on "old family boy friend" issue, she says her and I will never see "eye to eye" on her speaking with her old early teen "first kiss" boyfriend. She says she respects my opinion, and is keeping her distance, however, sees nothing wrong with what she did. In my opinion EA. Why does she look at this so innocent? She said "I'd never sleep with him" so that makes it ok!

WOW, She seems to be in a fog with the issue, and i fear more contact down the road. Her family and his were close for years, long before i met her. Her mother and father say "its no big deal to talk to him he's lonely" ,because his second wife wants to leave him. Should i try to convience her or just leave the issue alone?

I'am not in pain anymore and got over the shock that she would probably marry this guy if something happened to me, but can't figure out her thoughts. The only thing i can do watchout in the future,

What really blows my mind with "WS"'s is ,you never know what the future holds. Maybe she will run away with this guy some day? who knows?. Maybe getting hurt makes us all gunshy? can anyone comment on how they handle something like this? It seems once they are family friends you can never escape.

If the roles were reversed, your wife would never accept this. The longer the contact the greater the chances that things will get physical. It does not take a genius to figure this one out. This ex-boyfriend is a major threat to your marriage. An emotional affair can be far more damaging than a physical affair in its implication. Your wife is not acting like a married woman who is committed to her marriage and her relationship with her husband.

Wokeup, it's a matter of her putting priorities first. NAMELY YOU! And Your marriage.
She knows it bothers you, but continues? That is not acceptable to me. Nor should it be to you.
My WS had A with old high school girlfriend. Our first agreement was he'd never contact her again ever! There will be no friendship at all!
In fact, I told him he better consider her dead and buried if he wants his marriage because I will not try if he needs her in his life at all.
Same should hold for you. It may even be your In laws trying to sabotage your marriage by taking her side.
Your W has to decide what is more important to her. Ask her!
I have no advice of expertise, just that I know the pain and it can't be this way and you have a good, happy, marriage.
She's either in or out, but no in betweens.
God bless, LouLou