Hi,

I was reading in another thread that one of your children has been diagnosed as having ODD...

My 8-year-old has always given me (and school/care givers on occassion) a hard time. I did some on-line reading last year on ODD and he fit what I read. He just can't seem to understand that he must respect authority, etc.. Two summers ago he had to be restrained at his summer camp because he wouldn't listen and was very defiant. The director of the camp was called in and he threw a chair at her and also bit her... she was 8 months pregnant. He was kicked out and couldn't return until he went to counseling. His Dad didn't seem to think it was a serious thing and has always defied me when I would try to take them to counseling. It's ME not the boys who needs the help he would say. He even told the boys that I was wrong for taking them. At the time of this one incident, exH was away for military training.

He has gotten much better over the last year (seems to corrolate with after WH (not his dad) moved out), but has had a few moments.

How did you get a diagnosis? How have you dealt with this?

Thank you!!

^^bump^^

Free,
It wasn't easy!!! It came after my (then 9 year old son) threw a desk across his classroom. I took him to AT LEAST 10 different councelors AND psychiatrists. Finally the last one listened to everything and told me about ODD. I think this man did what all of the others didn't feel necessary...he LISTENED to MY thoughts and suggestions! Everyone else had the attitude,"you're not a liscensed proffesional, I am, and you don't know what your talking about!"
The Dr put my son on blood pressure meds. (along with a surprisingly low dose of Concerta) I was scared to death about the blood pressure meds, but at that point I was willing to try anything. They didn't work right away...BUT he is now 14 and on NO MEDS for 2 years running!!! He gets "special ed" at school, due to his ADHD, but he's doing fine now.

We still deal with anger issues...almost daily. But now, he leaves the room (sometimes he goes outside) till he finds "inner peace"
We were told that the best thing we could do was put the responsibility on HIM for HIS actions. Now he knows Mama won't fix things he breaks!!! (including if he fails at school...he is stuck in summer school!)

Trust me Free, it's a LONG HARD road ahead of you!!! Find your son a Dr that YOU can talk to! And try to find an advocacy group to help with school issues. C.H.A.D.D is a good group to start with. (Children and Adults with Attention Deficit Disorder) They can also give you more to look at.
The school was our biggest problem...there are places you can call to get help with your childs IEP (Individual Education Plan) If your son was diagnosed with ANY disorder (ADD, ADHD, EI, or ODD) he falls under the "special needs" category, and (at least in Michigan) he then falls under a blanket of protection against punishment such as expulsion from school(among other things)

I hope this helped some. If you need anymore (or more specific) answers, just give me a yell and I'll do what I can.

Believe me, I feel your pain. This has been the HARDEST thing to go through! You look at your child that you love more than life, and think,"What did I do to deserve this?" I honestly have even thought of walking away! It gets to be too much to bear at times. I will pray for you.

Best of luck and God Bless

Sorry to bother and I don't want to be noisy but could you tell me what ODD is , I know ADD,ADHD but have not heard of ODD. Thank you . And if you feel uncomfortable explaining I understand if it is to personal . Just that I have an 8 yr. old and for the past 2 yrs his anger has bin getting out of control and disrespect for all adults and his behavior in school was always ok now this past yr it is starting to show there . Its like he flips out out of no where if he don't get his way . Well I would like to no what Odd is and what you noticed and what ages or has it always been. Thanks

3isacrowd,
ODD is Oppositional Defiance Disorder. I'll include a link to a website that explains symptoms in detail.

My son started showing symptoms as soon as Kindergarten (but was only diagnosed at 9 years old)"temper tantrums" didn't even BEGIN to explain what he was experiencing. It was more like RAGE!!! He would fly off the handle for no apparent reason and get to the point that he needed to be restrained.

It is most difficult to find a Dr willing to help with this. As I said in my earlier post, I went to at least 10 different professionals before finding one that listened to me. Find support groups! Even if you never go to a meeting (I never did, because finding time and a babysitter was impossible) they are invaluable for gathering information.

Any help I can be, just let me know. I hope the website can give you the background info you need. If not, give me a yell and I'll try to find more for you.

ODD

Best of luck and God Bless

I've also got a son diagnosed with ODD. I've known all of his teachers way too well over the years.

I started by taking my son to a child psychologist, who diagnosed my son with depression, and then sent us to a prescribing psychiatrist for medications. She was able to diagnose my son with depression and ODD. As it turns out, ODD rarely occurs by itself, but often is seen with ADHD or depression.

A good child therapist should be able to point you in the right directions.

Btw, Free, here's a really comprehensive link:

http://www.klis.com/chandler/pamphlet/oddcd/oddcdpamphlet.htm

And check out http://www.conductdisorders.com/

I really want to encourage you to get your kids into counseling where they can be diagnosed. Once diagnosed, you can get help through the school system. My ODD son gets weekly counseling, and has alot of involvement by the Child Study Team.

My son has been kicked out of catholic school, and has had numerous outbreaks of rage and acting out. It is exhausting to deal with, and its NOT caused by bad parenting. So don't let anyone try to tell you that its your fault.

Thank you, nutcase and Bramblerose,

My 1st ex just doesn't see the misbehaviors I see. I would restrain my now 8-year-old all the time because he wouldn't listen to me. He is so much better this year, but still doesn't follow rules in the classroom and talks inappropriately. He has told me he would like to chop me in little pieces (not in a while, but within the last 1-2 years).

It's sad, but I, too, would like to give full custody to my ex.

Is it possible he could have ODD tendancies on a part-time basis? My ex doesn't see this at all in his house. He is very strict and they listen to him (he's big and boisterous). BUT, he will tell any authority to sh*t in their hats if they try to discipline or correct him.

It's very bothersome and stressful for me to have such ill feelings towards my own child. My ex thinks it's ME who needs help... not the kids.

My son has been kicked out of many summer/before & after school programs and he brags about it. When I took him to a counselor after he threw a chair at the pregnant woman... the counselor told me in front of the kids that the adults were wrong. When I complained about the kids not getting ready in the morning and being a very stressful time for us... he said I neeeded to get myself up and ready before the boys then walk them through the morning routine... he wanted me to hold their hands step by step through the morning. NOT! He also told me if I wasn't ready to do everything with them then I shouldn't expect it (ie, if I'm not willing to help them clean their rooms then I shouldn't ask for them to do it alone). All this in front of the boys!

I look forward to checking out those links!

Thank you so much for sharing!

<img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

<small>[ February 04, 2003, 06:22 PM: Message edited by: Free2BMe ]</small>

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by BrambleRose:
<strong>and its NOT caused by bad parenting. So don't let anyone try to tell you that its your fault.</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">BR,

This brings tears to my eyes... my stbxWH used to make me feel this way all the time. <img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" />

Thank you for the support!!

<img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Free2beme,

Please don't hesitate to e-mail me if you need to just talk! I KNOW how it feels to wonder if I am a horrible Mom! To think "My kids (and I) would be SOOO much better off under someone elses care!"
It's a vicious circle we keep going around on!

I don't know if I'll be able to help you much, but I can listen and not judge. Sometimes thats the most important thing.

My e-mail is nutcase3@hotmail.com

Best of luck!

Thank you, nutcase3! I will make a note of your addy. My exH just informed me he has to go away with the Nationa Guard for the weekend so I need to take the boys 2 days early... I'm riddled with anxiety at having my own child!!

<img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" />