Excuse me if I appear ignorant on this but need to ask the question:

Anyone have a percentage on how many EA go to PA?

Is it a high percentage?

Or can one stay in the EA stage forever?

Thanks advisors... <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

I'd like to know this, too.

According to the psychologist I am seeing. An EA will only be for a short period of time, under a year. Then it will go to PA. Cause the EA is meeting all the persons needs, and of course to put the icing on the cake, the physical attraciton is there too.

Knowing my husband. He said, if the Other woman was still 200#, he would of not wanted to have sex with her. But she was still somewhat heavy, and I guess he told her. That she was attractive enough for him. The physical part comes, when the emotional needs are met. It is just the icing on the cake of an affair.

Like my husband said, DNA of men is to spread their DNA. So they had sex with another woman, and they are the ones that know God saw them in their sex, and lies. They have to live with it.

But a EA is not for very long. If this is a true affair.

I think some WH's fail to really see the OW as how she is. Mine wouldn't want or says he wouldnt' want a heavy woman, but the OW he went to was very heavy.
He did know her in teens before so she was thin then. Or mostly thin, He said always a bit chunky. But he liked her then, and I think after over 40 yrs, his head still saw her as the teen gal.
All fantasy! But I also think if a man wants to cheat, doesn't matter. Only requirement is female and willing!
He sure didn't find something better to cheat with. And that is still a mystery to me!
I always thought to cheat, they were looking for someone younger, and better looking. NOT SO!
He swears they didnt' sleep together as high school sweethearts. But I don't believe that.
Then said he always wanted to. So I guess he had to fulfill his curiosity and fantasy. But thankfully, according to him it was very disappointing.
Doesn't help my feelings though. Or ease the pain. The fact that he would think of her and look her up after over 40 years says something about not being happy or loving me.
He doesn't see that. Of course, he can't see it. He is in denial. He's the type that thinks it did no real harm to us. Even admitting it hurt me and he hates that, he still thinks it's a man thing and took nothing from us. I know this because I know his thinking so well.
If he only knew! He will never admit or really even know how much he lost of me.
Once they get the idea, I think it makes no different. It's all fantasyland from there on.
Until and unless they wake up and take a real look at themselves and the OP.
I am almost convinced of the EN's being an excuse. I think it has more to do with wanting something new, and going for it. Just have to try it they do.
If we all had that attitude, we'd all be bed hopping constantly!
Hell, do they think they're still new to us?
Makes me angry just thinking on it. The WS must think they're still God's gift to us and we're the old stuff. LOL
Oh well, my two cents in. LouLou

thanks for the two cents, I know forgiving is hard and mine didn't get off the ground far. But just knowing they could do that to you, makes you look very different at your relationship. They all seem to be blinded to the damage they do, but i guess they will never know how the BS feels.

I doubt an EA would rarely not go PA unless there was some impracticality about it such as distance, schedule or trauma.

There are a few cases where going PA would become the "oops, this really is an affair" wake-up call that WS have to avoid in order to keep from shattering their rationalization.

But plenty of people chose instead to extend the rationalization and include the PA as part of it.

Another indicator against indefinite EAs has to do with the desire for newness. A's eat up the energy that newness provides and that desire for newness is very appealing to participants in an A. Some A's even require that newness in order to continue.

Hmm. I guess I oculd have just given a one word answer. Or I could have given more reasons. Oh well. I guess I'll just stop here. I'm feeling like dinner.

Sorry, I don't have a statistic. Considering the lack of statistics that would be easier to obtain than "EA to PA", it seems that any stat on "EA to PA" would be non-existent or pretty haphazard.

W insists that friendship with opposite sex is no <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> big deal. I guess she figures she is in control of the relationship. But to her defense, she did pull up and slow things down, When the OM started calling her cell phone every few days, it went from once a month.

I told her to think about "what he he tells you he loves you, then what". She wasn't ready for that. And fortunately, she deceided to stop answering his calls. (The skunk).

Sometimes i think people just fall into situations because of ignorance. My W hates to hurt anyones feelings, but sometimes at my expense.

Personally, I feel you must be of certain character to carry on an affair. I wonder if i did not get involved,would my wifes so called "innocent friendship" have turned into a PA. Because i wonder if i just overreacted to the whole thing?

but i did ask her one day, why? She said "I don't think he would want to breakup a marriage", but i asked, would he take you out if you asked. she said "oh, yes". I think i will keep my flaggs up when this guy is around.