My in-law's have always been supportive of me and have not supported their daughter for what she has done and is doing to me. I don't see my in-laws as much now but I do know they care about me tremendously and they do tell me if I need anything to come over or call them.
Well my mother-in-law called me today at work to tell me her daughter did call her. She said her daughter sounded different on the phone from their conversations in the past. I guess my wife(WS) actually asked my mother-in-law how I was doing. Keep in my mind my wife has been gone since June. We have had no contact in about seven weeks. My wife id comment about how bad it is that I had to travel for two weeks for work.
Now I don't want to read into this too much but does this mean anything? Or is this just a fluke and she will slip again. I don't want to get my hopes up but it was nice to hear that. But then again until she actually calls or contacts me I can't say much. Just was wondering what someone thought of this...

Confused-

I am in a similar situation as yourself with extremely supportive in-laws that are very close to me. Also, we have no kids either to keep my W and I in contact with each other.

My opinion, not what you want to hear, I wouldn't read too much into what you MIL told you. I am sure that she wants the two of you together, much like my in-laws would like WW and myself to be together as well. But I would very much tell her not to be involved whatsoever, no matter how kind her intentions may be. My in-laws are fully aware of my situation, I speak with them and see them regularly. But beyond having their support, we choose to not discuss what is happening between myself and WW at all. She is still first and foremost their D, I don't want that bond to be jeopardized. If she were to find out that anything she is telling her parents was coming back to me that could actually backfire more than help I believe. Do everything you can in my opinion to keep your relationship with them alive, but keep it between yourselves and don't discuss WW at all. Others may disagree, but that is how I feel it works best for me.

As to the actual comment itself, o.k. so your wife asked about you. That couldn't be bad in any way whatsoever. Yes, that feels good I agree. But until she picks up the phone or attempts to actually contact you it really doesn't mean anything in the big picture- the old actions speak louder than words routine. I hope it means something for you, I truly do. I wish you nothing but the best. But I would not read too much into that comment- and I would certainly not pick up the phone and call WW because of it unless you have some sort of pattern of communication already established. She may freak out if she thinks her Mother went directly to you after she spoke with her.

My two cents.......

quote:
Well my mother-in-law called me today at work to tell me her daughter did call her. She said her daughter sounded different on the phone from their conversations in the past. I guess my wife(WS) actually asked my mother-in-law how I was doing.

Of course this is good. Be glad that she asked.
I am interested in what your mother-in-law gave her as an answer.. Hopefully she told her you were doing great and seemed very happy..... That is what you want her to know and feel. Once they see that you can be perfectly happy without them, is when they start to get curious....

since MIL feels good toward you, I would ask her what WW has to say, if anything about the separation. You do deserve to know how she feels.
Otherwise, wait a while and pick up the phone and ask how she's doing yourself.
You can't mend fences without first going to the fence.
The comment about feeling and doing great? Well, of course we BS's don't want them thinking we're falling apart over them. But then if we look like we're so happy, maybe they will consider it no use in trying again?
There are always two sides to a coin.
LouLou
LouLou

The comment about feeling and doing great? Well, of course we BS's don't want them thinking we're falling apart over them. But then if we look like we're so happy, maybe they will consider it no use in trying again?
There are always two sides to a coin.
LouLou
LouLou

I have never read, seen, experienced, or heard of a
WS ever saying that they were not going to consider coming back because the BS was so happy... Maybe I can learn something here.... So are you saying that we shouldn't be happy because it may cause the other person to not consider coming back? Of course there are two sides to any coin. I only look at what reality says to us. Reality shows me that they come back much faster if the BS is happy and shows that they have let go.. If reality showed me that begging and pleading and acting saddened by everything worked to get them back, then I would wholeheartily say to act unhappy. I do not see that as something that works too well in my study of what brings them back.

keep in mind that my W never "left", when you read this, but my take is that "letting go" and "being happy" are always good for broken Ms. Why? Because letting go means letting go of the desire to CONTROL them. Control yourself. Control how you affect the future. You can do nothing about the past (except try to understand it, perhaps, but even that is based on your interpretation of your memory of it). Stop trying to guess what your WS is thinking or doing (I know, *I* am FAMOUS for doing this, and let me tell you: IT WON'T GET YOU WHAT YOU THINK YOU WANT).

Being happy with yourself is just plain old healthy. People are attracted to others that have a healthy outlook on life. "People" might even include your WS, too. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

-Qfwfq

Well my MIL isn't easy on her daughter. My FIL hasn't spoken to her own daughter in about eight months because he is that upset with her. Keep in mind my wife and her dad have the same personality. They are like two rams butting heads for no reason at all.
In the beginning my MIL and wife went back and forth about what the heck is she doing. To come back to her husband and work on things. Then they didn't speak for awhile because their conversations were nothing but arguing. I guess now they talk but not too often but my MIL said she tries not bringing the situation up. Actually my MIL told me my wife brought up the question of how I was doing. Of course my MIL being who she is told her own daughter how do you think he is coming home to an empty house every night. One side of me is like oh no she shouldn't of said that but another side of me is like good. I did tell my MIL that my wife spoke to a lawyer about the divorce. My wife failed to tell her mom that in any of their conversations.
As far as the acting happy or acting sad. It seems there is no way you can win on this one. I mean I am not happy so why should I act happy? I may not cry as much as I use to but I still do. I can honestly say there hasn't been a day I haven't thought about my wife if it was for five seconds or an hour.

CG:

Strange. I could swear I replied yesterday, but it's not here <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" />

"As far as the acting happy or acting sad. It seems there is no way you can win on this one. I mean I am not happy so why should I act happy? I may not cry as much as I use to but I still do. I can honestly say there hasn't been a day I haven't thought about my wife if it was for five seconds or an hour."

I think it's important that you NOT act. But this will mean that you will have to become genuinely happy. Fortunately, this will be a natural byproduct of working on yourself. It won't be easy, necessarily, but it will be rewarding.

-Qfwfq

My FIL hasn't talked to the ex in 2+ years. After he found out she left, he called every day for about 3 weeks, cursing and yelling to her voicemail. My MIL last spoke with her a year ago when she (my ex) said she would be in town for a few weeks and stop by & see her. She didn't.

Inlaws recently moved back into the state. Ex hasn't seen them since Nov 99. Me & kids see them every 2-3 weeks.

Look at it as if the ws is on crack. They will do nothing until the affair is over. They need to really crash before they wake up. Using MB principles, we hope this happens BEFORE we divorce them. Sometimes (in my case) it doesn't happen. But it can.

I wouldn't read too much into it at this point. Don't burn your bridges though.