GREAT TRUTHS ABOUT LIFE THAT LITTLE CHILDREN HAVE LEARNED:

1) No matter how hard you try, you can't baptize cats.

2) When your Mom is mad at your Dad, don't let her brush your hair.

3) If your sister hits you, don't hit her back. They always catch the
second
person.

4) Never ask your 3-year old brother to hold a tomato.

5) You can't trust dogs to watch your food.

6) Don't sneeze when someone is cutting your hair.

7) Never hold a Dust-Buster and a cat at the same time.

8) You can't hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk.

9) Don't wear polka-dot underwear under white shorts.

10)The best place to be when you're sad is Grandma's lap.

GREAT TRUTHS ABOUT LIFE THAT ADULTS HAVE LEARNED:

1) Raising teenagers is like nailing Jell-O to a tree.

2) Wrinkles don't hurt.

3) Families are like fudge . . . mostly sweet with a few nuts.

4) Today's mighty oak is just yesterday's nut that held its ground.

5) Laughing is good exercise. It's like jogging on the inside.

6) Middle age is when you choose your cereal for the fiber,not the joy.

GREAT TRUTHS ABOUT GROWING OLD:

1) Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional.

2) Forget the health food. I need all the preservatives I can get.

3) When you fall down, you wonder what else you can do while you're down
there.

4) You're getting old when you get the same sensation from a rocking
chair
that you once got from a roller coaster.

5) It's frustrating when you know all the answers, but nobody bothers to
ask
you the questions.

6) Time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy beautician.

7) Wisdom comes with age, but sometimes age comes alone.

THE FOUR STAGES OF LIFE:

1) You believe in Santa Claus.

2) You don't believe in Santa Claus.

3) You are Santa Claus.

<img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Thanks Sue.

L.

Welcome- I couldn't resist sharing this

LOL!! Very cool. Thanx!

MTD

So, you are funny as well as talented and smart.

Here's another one.

Just when you finish typing the best post you have ever done, the computer crashes before you can post it to the MB server.

SS

<small>[ February 08, 2003, 11:19 PM: Message edited by: still seeking ]</small>

Great list.

Just wondering, was there a fourth stage of life missing or was that part of the humor?

SS- thanks- wish I could say I thought it all up myself. I just passed along because I thought it was funny

I noticed the the last one was missing too. I don't know if it was by error or part of the humor