Just like some perspective on the foggese crap....
Those who don't know the story just run search for mjt..

WS-- No not really, I'm just afraid you might be getting mixed signals from me. I
>enjoy talking to you each day but I do resent you checking up on me and
>accusing me of things when I go out sometimes. We are separated and I have
>not made any promises about getting back together. I'm not dating anyone but
>if I choose to do so, I will. This sounds much meaner than I mean to come
>across. I know you get jealous and I'm sorry, at the moment there is
>absolutely no one to be jealous over, but that's not because I'm deciding to
>reconile with you. I am still very confused. There are days when I want to
>and there are days when I don't so until I know for sure, I'm not going to
>commit to anything. I don't want to get youir hopes up. Anyway, I hope this
>makes sense and I'm sorry for feeling this way.

My reply-- Alright fair enough I suppose. I'm little confused on the days you
>want to days you don't part. Are you talking about reconciliation or dating
>others there? I'm sorry too

WS--I was talking about reconciliation. There's days when the thought of being single scare the hell out of me and the thought of either one of us being w/o the kids breaks my heart.

Now is she just fence setting, or really thinking things over?... She leaves in Tx. Myself and kids reside in NC. Webcams were a nice idea it helps the kids.. hoping she really starts to feel the miles apart... I don't want her to feel too comfortable out there...

Mjt

<small>[ February 08, 2003, 06:21 PM: Message edited by: Mjt ]</small>

jmho...sounds like she is telling you the truth...as she sees it. She doesn't know where she wants her life to lead. While you might like her to make a decision TODAY...I really think until she is comfortable and really wants whatever decision she reaches with all her heart...it's best that she not make a half-@$$ed decision, even ones in your favor.

btw...this is ONLY if her affair has truly ended and she is in NC.

Glad the camera is working out! Love mine!

As far as I know there has been NC. I have been monitoring her e-mails. He left her once he discovered she is still married. Plus she calls to talk to me everynight.. This makes things diffcult for me.. Damn if do Damn if I don't.. yet I do not want her to just to settle for me. I deserver better. Funny last night I told her I was going out to see a movie.. She called 2 times to see if had gotten home.. Then called again at midnight.. Humm maybe she's checking up on me.. Jealousy works both ways.
I never told her who I was or wasn't with, but could tell she was rather curious.
Mjt

Bump

I apologize for not really having any advice as I&#8217;m kind of in the same boat as you. Except for I was the WW.

I have never left the home but for almost a year my H is still telling me he&#8217;s not sure if he wants to fix our M or not. One day he does and one day he doesn&#8217;t. I too wish he would make a decision NOW, but he can&#8217;t.

Just wanted to say hi and let you know that.

Get ready to move on and let her know about it.

Of course, that's easier said than to do it well. Don't come off as manipulative and don't "move on" by dating other women.

Some other tips, let her know that you are interested in working on things, that nothing's guaranteed, and that you will wait but it that there are obvious reasons why you can't wait forever. Let the kids do the emotional stuff - but don't be sleazy about it.

Basically, echo some of the sentiments of a Plan B letter without the A related stuff. Work on the attractive aspects of coming home and work on making some of the negative aspects (i.e. your reaction) a minimal issue.

Perhaps she'll be open to a non-comittal in-person meeting that both of you can take just as a chance to talk without real expectations. Sure, you can hope, but that's something you'll deal with. I'm sure she wants to visit the kids as well.

You might consider making yourself a little less available in a innocent way. Your talking to her everyday may be prolonging things.

Here's a question. What does she think would happen if she came home? Does she think that she be made to feel stupid by you? I'm just asking cause it does seem really silly to go this far with an OM and then get dumped because "Oops, btw, I'm married"