Hi. Well I talked to my husband yesturday (we have been apart 3 weeks now) and I don't think the call went very well. He was calling to see if I was ok. (I broke apart on the phone the night before) I asked him about VDay and he didn't think that was a good idea to do anything. It broke me heart. Right now Iam feeling like he is just stringing me along. He said that when he is better (just diagnosed with depression - he said it wasn't MY fault but his because he does not have the tools to deal with things) we will date. He told me being apart is hard for him too and that he does love me. But him coming over or movinghome, he just can't do right now. I feel like this is an endless circle. I was so good and happy last week. What happened? I want to pack up all his things and tell him we need to sit down and do a separation agreement. But I know that is out of anger and when I see him on wed. when he picks up our daughter I just know I won't beable to. Im trying the smiling thing and looking my best and having plans and not staying at home. He asks me what Im doing ect. I have no desire to date anyone and I hope he does neither (as I will be crushed). Maybe I just don't understand his illness. I keep trying to remind my self that we are separated. But he gives me false hope. Iam soooooooo sonfused. Someone please help.

tummiluv,

Have you read about Plan A? I read your other posts and it looks like you have been doing a great deal of drinking and a great deal of lovebusting. That will very quickly drain someones lovebank and dissolve their love for you. In other words, you need to focus on changing yourself and demonstrating to him that you are AWARE of the problems that you created in the marriage and want to change them. It is very important that you focus on meeting his needs whenever the opportunity presents itself.

Read this: http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi8113_ab.html

Do you think he is having an affair?

No Iam sure he is not having an affair. That subject has come up and I used it and abused it. He would never do anything like that. He sits on his parents couch and channel surfs. There was a girl in the fall he confided in. He told me abouther and I beleived him. After all he had his "out" then. he was honest said he developed feelings for her (not romantic) and she was the one keeping him at home. But that hurt me and I chose not to beleive him. Which is why Iam alone today.