Here is my Plan B letter that I have wanted to send as a last attempt with my wife. I gave it to her today <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" />

My Dearest Christine,

This will be the first Valentine's in 15 years I have not been able to hold you and tell you that I love you. I have wanted to write to you for many weeks as its laid heavy on my heart that I must, so here it is.

I still love you Christine and I probably always will. You have always simply been the one for me.

As our year of pain comes almost to an end I have been able to see the pain and anger I have caused in you to hate me as you do. I am sorry for the things I have said to you via text and verbally. They were mistakes that I wish I had not made.

I want to create a new life and a new marriage for you and I as husband and wife. But I cannot do that until you end your relationships with George and Pete and concentrate on us. Whilst these go on I am unable to talk to you. Its too painful and hurtful to me seeing the one I love in this way. I appreciate tha we have to talk about the girls and its best if we do this via text or letter.

We are sadly heading for divorce, something I do not desire. It can be stopped and I am willing to discuss our future together. I want you and I want our marriage. I hope that we can rebuild a better future for ourselves and put this past year away. I want to do everything to make us both happy. So that there is never any reason to separate again. You have always been my soul, my best friend and my lover. I still want to be yours.

I cannot stop you leaving me Christine the same as I could not force you to marry me but I loved you when we married and I still love you to this very day.

With all my love,
now and always Neil xxx

my brief critique - I would take out the reference to divorce, but rather state again the conditions under which you will resume contact with her. otherwise, looks v strong.

Neil,

A beautiful letter. I could feel how heartfelt everyword is. I wish for you all the love and happiness you deserve.

Used <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Neil,

The letter , to me, is beautiful. It brought me to tears--they were such kind, loving words.

I think that if you're willing to wait it all out your wife may come to her senses. You are a bigger person than most to still love her despite what she's done/doing to you.

Take care, and God bless,

H_P
PS I didn't realize you were still posting here. Did you quit for awhile, a while back? Didn't you slightly change your name? Glad to see you.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by hopeful_person:
<strong>PS I didn't realize you were still posting here. Did you quit for awhile, a while back? Didn't you slightly change your name? Glad to see you.</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Yes I took a break to get my head round some stuff but I am still posting and yes my name changed slightly.

Neil,

Ditto Nick. Remove the reference to Divorce.

-rh-

Letter is already gone as it. I didn't want to wordsmith it, this isn't a game of bluff and brinkmanship. This is my wrecked life and family.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by Porsche 4Sale:
<strong>Letter is already gone as it. I didn't want to wordsmith it, this isn't a game of bluff and brinkmanship. .... </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Well, she might take it (Dv words) as LB'ed and your message might get lost. Let us know if she replies back or responding to you.

-rh-

I don't expect a reply Redhat. Sadly my W views MB's as a Game I play. The DV statement may be an LB but it is the reality of the situation that we are in and moving towards. I wanted this letter to be heart felt, that it would be the last thing from me that might make a difference after all this time. Best Wishes Neil.

But I cannot do that until you end your relationships with George and Pete and concentrate on us.
You should have been very much more precise as to what you want to happen.

If she does reply, I would respond (one time only) with a new letter and be very exact as to what you want. Post it here & get a few responses before you send it off.

1 - You love her and do NOT want a divorce.
2 - You cannot have any contact until the affair is over and she is willing to separate permanently from om. THEN you are willing to get together & discuss reconciliation. This is not a punishment but it hurts you to continue on as you are.

The letter should be as if divorce is not a possibility and reconciliation WILL occur.

Chris, she knows I do not want a divorce. It is what she alone wants. She knows I love her but she is too hurt and angry at me to be in my life. She is not willing to work on the M. She has known about my MC and has never attended etc.

Ultimately she is doing what she wants, this letter was my last attempt at showing her how I feel. Something that she can tangibly hold rather than be forgotten because it's verbal or deleted because it's electronic.

I don't expect a reply, her hate for me is almost engulfing. She knows what she wants and it's not me or her family. This letter is also for me and my girls, that I tried my very best, and that it would have been so much different.

NJ.

she knows I do not want a divorce.
Doesn't matter "what she knows." Most of the time, a ws will not recall what they said to the bs from one minute to the next.

This is why a Plan B letter spells out and and is very clear as to what you want. There is no assuming you know what the ws is thinking or knows.

OK Chris I understand what you are saying but my wording is correct. I do not desire a divorce, but I will have to divorce. In the UK the rules are different, we are in a divorce, and whilst I do not desire it, dont want it, want my W, I will divorce to protect myself and my Kids.

I do not desire a divorce, but I will have to divorce. In the UK the rules are different, we are in a divorce, and whilst I do not desire it, dont want it, want my W, I will divorce to protect myself and my Kids.
I'm a bit confused & I think you are wording it incorrectly. If you say you, "I will divorce to protect myself and my Kids" to me that means you filed for divorce.

Did you file for divorce or did she file for divorce?

It's a very long story. I do not desire a divorce like anyone here. I want a recovery. But my W is unable to see that it is not about me nor about our family, it is about her child abuse that has caused this. She wants a Divorce and I in some small way hope that it will show her that things can be different for her.

"Sometimes you just have to let them completely go..." - Laura Davis - Allies in Healing.

I filed for divorce to protect myself and our kids from further pain.

Neil.

<small>[ February 11, 2003, 06:34 PM: Message edited by: Porsche 4Sale ]</small>