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Joined: Dec 2002
Posts: 81
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Joined: Dec 2002
Posts: 81 |
Okay, for the past month or so I have been doing what I guess is a Plan A-and-a-half. I follow Michelle Weiner's Divorce Busting (which is excellent) and have been employing the focus-on-self technique and focus on what works. I have been civil with WH, but not showing any affection. Now, after giving a few little "warm fuzzies" he is a new person. I even tried it more than once to see if he would just turn off like he usually does. No luck. This is good for me...I don't want D. I guess I have no reason to complain...I just don't know how to dole out the affection without being a doormat...It's not returned in the way I would like, but it's not denied either...
I know his brain has been stolen by aliens, and I know that we have a long way to go, but I remain hopeful. Anybody been there/here before? Advice???
1Red
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Joined: Jan 2003
Posts: 531
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Joined: Jan 2003
Posts: 531 |
I was in plan A for about six weeks and moved to plan B just yesterday. My WW would go back and forth showing me affection and then backing away. It can drive you crazy. I'm not familiar with your story but it seems most people do plan A for quite a bit longer than I did. Feeling like a doormat through it comes with the territory. I wasn't very good at it.
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Joined: Dec 2002
Posts: 81
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Joined: Dec 2002
Posts: 81 |
Argh! Gnashing of teeth, pulling of hair!! I would feel so much better if he would just come out with it and say "Yes, I'm willing to give it one last chance." As it is, I feel like I'm doing battle with an invisible enemy...never knowing when or where they will pop up.
I know I have to ride it out, but it sure ain't easy -- espcially for someone not predisposed to patience. God give me strength. Sigh.
1Red
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Joined: Feb 2003
Posts: 102
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Joined: Feb 2003
Posts: 102 |
1Red, I just asked you about the same question under the thread "To Landslide." <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> Go take a look and see. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> same question at the same time. The affection thing is really something I am struggling with. In my prayers, landslide
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