1Red,
Thanks for the good thoughts. As for the clown outfit...actually, I already have the wig (leftover Halloween outfit when kids were small).
You will just never know how I have been helped here. I just spend every minute I have reading all the threads, posts, whatever they are. I have learned so much. I may never clean house again.
One thing was troubling me some, and I just read something about it in JFO. I really want to meet H sexual needs. I am struggling with initiating contact. Some days I can take no more rejection. He does ocassionally in the middle of the night. That makes me think he starts out thinking(or wishing) I was someone else. Whoever he is dreaming about. I don't remember who said it but they said they used that as a bridge between each other while they worked on everything else. What do you think of that?
I don't guess I should try anything tonight. You know the hand shaking thing. Blow up, whatever.
H went to bed @ 9. Usually up until midnight on his computer. Sometimes I think he is overwhelmed with guilt, so he goes to bed.
I will miss you this week.
Post when you can.
I am stronger because of the friends I have made here. I was thinking, in Heaven when we are known as we were known---we'll know each other. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />
There are just a lot of hurting people here, yet every story is so different.
If you do have a chance tell me what you think about the bridge deal. That is an area that we have never had problems in even when H was deeply into his EAs. (That now sickens me some, and also makes me <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" />
I must bring this to an end. I think I could type all night.
Have a great week.
In my prayers,
landslide