V-Day is fast approaching. Can I just turn off all v-day ads from everywhere I look? It is utterly hurting me. It was only a year ago, about a month before my W met the OM, that she gave me a special present for v-day after a few years where we did not exchange presents. She claims it was an attempt to try to save the M. I am not so sure anymore.

Anybody else hurting thanks to v-day?

That is how I feel about Valentine's Day too. My Valentine's was bad last year, because of me, and now this year my H moved out almost 2 months ago to be with his girlfriend. Plus another thing that stinks is our 14th anniversery is coming up on March 4th.

V-day sucks this year as far as I'm concerned. It will be a year since the Luksters last had SF. I should have known something was wrong. Stupid, stupid, stupid.... Ugh, I am a born again virgin now. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" /> Sex, what's that?

-Luki

No doubt V-D will be a big let down like it always is. At least H is away from ow, but still not with me. We divorced emotionally years ago. <img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" />

I'm expecting nothing, therefore I can't be disappointed.

landslide

I too am DOWN about VAlentine's Day. I am now divorced, and exH and I haven't spent a 'real' Valentine's Day in 5 years now.

On the upside, I can be grateful to the good Lord for awakening me from the fog of my long affair. Last Valentine's Day was the only one ever spent with the OM. It was a disaster, and very, very sad for me. I remember thinking, again, so distinctly, "Why did I ruin my marriage for THIS?" I knew so early on that the A was so wrong, and that it was so stupid--but I held on to OM and the fantasy far too long. In a way I can be glad that I'm free of that mess, and that I've repented for my huge sin. Sadly though, I am 'free' of my exH.

So, I'll be with my children on Valentine's Day, and FORTUNATELY no OM in my life now. That is cause for celebration. Still praying for exH to love me again!

Thanks for letting me vent, and sharing this here.
H_P

divorced august 2002, wanting to reconcile
separated october 2000
ended A in july 2002
EA started in 1998, PA in '99

V-Day ... oh, yeah !!!. Redhat is back on the game <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" /> . I get present for my 2 D already, none for my exW. I bought a pink shirt and a silver pendant for a special lady that I have met a few weeks ago <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> . My 2 D curious like hell, they keep asking me for who that pink shirt is for. I told them it is for my freind. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" /> .

It is too bad that I have to go to Fresno for GoldSkate Roller Skating Show this weekend <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" /> . But I will be acommpanied by 2 lovely girls of my life & see them perform, my 2 D <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" /> .

-rh-

I, too, am Down about Valentine&#8217;s Day. Last year on Valentine&#8217;s Day I was deep in the fog. My wonderful H gave me a great gift last year. Unfortunately he&#8217;s not sure if he still wants our M.

I did get him a gift this year and of course got my two boys gifts as well. I&#8217;m not expecting anything.

We go to our 1st joint MC session tonight. Pray for us!!

Can I just sleep through the day on Friday??!!!

Valentines day? What is that? Haven't known that was a special day in years! I thought it was just a regular day. Well, same here. Just a #, nothing else. Just like May 14, August 14, March 14, just a # and Hallmark is making big bucks.

My wayward spouse, sent his OW beautiful cards for Valentines day. I saw them, and he wrote um... <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> in the card.

I get nothing, have nothing, husband is now looking to move, way far away. At least 2000 miles away or more. Not telling me anything, everything secret. Of course our divorce will be final shortly. It is what he wanted, so that is what is happening. Valentines what?

The dread of Vday
this time last year i was plan a my A** off. Left a card and sweets in his car. next day went to start his car for him found my valentine in his trash bag. This was also the day the A became PA. the one and only time so as the day draws near i feel my stomach turn. He is a totally different person this year so maybe? Just want to get this day over with. I did get him a card but i want be leaving it in his car. If i give it to him at all.

Last V-day was less than a month after my D-day. I was really doing a poor plan A at the time, but V-day was an exception. I ordered flowers sent to my W at work with an "I love you" card attached. Did it do any good? Who cares. I think it did, actually, and it's a good thing, because my expectations of results when I did things like that were very HIGH back then. If it hadn't "worked" I would probably have been devastated.

Just after Xmas was our 27th anniversary. The holidays were kinda funky for me because my W was clearly trying to focus on us (successfully for hte most part, I give her a lot of credit), but RM had asked her to move in with him just a week or so earlier, so I was afraid that I'd be "surprised" with that at any moment the whole time. Well, not quite, actually. It was clear that she wouldn't just move in with him because it was HER that told me he had asked her to. So, I had some comfort in that thought during the holidays. But, since our anniversary was coming up, I felt like I should do something. My W wasn't mentioning it at all the whole time, so I felt like she was expecting me to do something. Kind of like being on trial. I had a choice: I could assume that's what she was doing and be miserable and maybe plan NOTHING out of spite, or I could plan something that I believed she would like and not worry about expectations, perceived, assumed or otherwise.

I booked a room in a favorite historic hotel of ours. It was still covered in Xmas decorations, and was absolutely beautiful. We had a great time, even though we both had colds. I didn't get any ILYs out of her the whole time, but I wouldn't let that get me down. In the years to come, I will be able to look back on that night with fond memories because of the choice I DID make.

We're doing better, primarily because my expectations are diminishing all the time. But we're far from out of the woods at this point.

I intend to send my W an email valentine (today, because she'll be out of the office on Friday).

My advice? Do/say what you want for V-day, but mean what you do/say.

-ol' Qfwfq

VALINTINES DAY- My Anniversary 11 years

So is it a good day or bad , well if OW doesn't call all night I guess I can make the best of it LOL .

I think I am going to use it as the Beging or end type of thing .

IT all started on that day THE COMMITMENT so now I am going to make it the day of choose .

OW OR ME ? WOW then I can really have v-day make a mark for me .Last yr. he came home the day before and V-day was 10 yrs it was nice now it is a yr later and she is still in picture , so I want to see how STRONG QUPID IS !!!!!!!!!!!

Well,

Approaching d-day anniversary for me. It kind of started with Valentines Day last year. H was in Las Vegas at a convention, and due home late on V-day.

I went to one of our favorite restaurants to pick up To-Go food so we could eat at home after he got home from the airport.

Restaurant was packed at 5pm and the wait for To-Go orders was 1 hour. Only place to sit was in the bar. I had my two boys with me sitting at the bar waiting. I was not looking my best at the moment because I was planning to shower and dress-up after I got the food home. I am sure I looked pretty pathetic sitting there with my 2 children.

Guy comes up and sits on the other side of me. He was alone - giving me looks like "are you available"? I thought this was so funny...I don't know what he must have thought; since I was with my 2 children?

Got home, feeling a little grumpy after the restaurant experience; H got home from the airport later than we expected. I opened up the food to heat and saw that the restaurant forgot MY ENTREE!

I acted very childish I'm not proud to say. H and I exchanged gifts. I gave H the book "Satisfaction". It was newly published at the time in hardcover. 3 weeks later on d-day, I found the book and tossed it down the stairs at him. I couldn't hit anything if I tried; but that time I nailed him with it. Purely accidental.

So I guess you could say V-day is a bit of a trigger for me. I have to say however, that although it has been 1 he!! of a year, I am in a much better place than I ever dreamed I would be; and my marriage is better than I dreamed possible.

Therefore looking back I will soon be able to say that where I am now is far better than where I was a year ago. Blessings, CSue

I may be able to beat most of you. I am going to the bank with my WW on Valentines day to split our RRSPs and close our joint account. Yep as of Feb 14th we will be officially seperated.

As she said to me when she told me about the appointment

"Happy Valentine's Day"

PB

My first Valentines alone for must be over 16 years <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" />

Why dont you good people pamper someone very special in your own lives!!!

Who you may ask?...why not yourselves?

why not have a special day planned for YOU.

Dunno who said it but it's........ love yourself first....just a thought

cheers!

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by dinotopia:
<strong>Why dont you good people pamper someone very special in your own lives!!!

Who you may ask?...why not yourselves?

why not have a special day planned for YOU.

Dunno who said it but it's........ love yourself first....just a thought

cheers!</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">good idea, although it is easier said than done.

maybe, but hey, what harm can a massage do? or a manicure or a pedicure? A game of golf.Maybe Grab a movie or go see a play. A bottle of perfume.Go order a spiffy new suit.

The ideas could be endless.

You're important, why not show yourself you are.

Well, this year Valentine's day is really getting me down.

It would have been my 25th anniversary. It's x's weekend with the children and he asked if they could be with me friday night so he could take wife#2 out.

Haven't seen my bf since Thanksgiving due to distance and money issues. Don't know when I will. I still have stack of Christmas presents for him.

My mom has no one to spend the evening with so children and I may spend it with her. But we have to turn in early because s has chess tournament the next day.

For the last 8 years or so, I've had a valentine's date with a friend of mine. She is a widow. She and her h had married, like us, on Valentine's day.

We celebrated our survival.

This is my first valentine's day without a date of some kind in 28 years,

Sigh.

Valentines Day-

After all that has transpired in the last two years, I am looking forward to Valentines day. I will do exactly as I did at Christmas - I will recieve a dozen beautiful long stemmed RED roses - from ME! I will have a lovely dinner by candle light - with my wonderful DS!

Then we will bring out the ice cream cake and eat ourselves silly!!!!

It's going to be great.....