Does anyone else here, that has been here a while, and done their best feel like they still lost. I feel like even if i win i lose. I can't stick up for myself, i am walked all over constantly, he abuses me emotionally and truthfully the other night i cryed the entire time though &&& because it hurt so bad and I had already said no at least 20 times, mind you he was drunk. I want someone to end this for me. I am afraid with the funk he is in he will hurt himself (bang) has talked about how suicide is ot covered by life insurance. If anything happens (accident) will i give ow some money, ect. We are in financial trouble partly because he doesn't accept responisibility for anything. Last night he started in again,

WHY CAN'T HE LEAVE ME. I WON'T EVEN ASK HIM TO STAY THE NEXT TIME I WILL HELP HIM PACK.

Notgoingtodothis,

I am sorry to hear that you are going throught this. There is nothing wrong with you. If you feel like that then you need to seperate yourself from the situation and get help. I doesn't do any good for you with stuff like this happening.
If you are really ready for him to leave then INVHO I think that you should pack him an overnight bag and tell him that you need a little time to yourself to work on some things. Don't do it in a mean manner. State up and calmly tell him.

Indy

Hi,

Maybe you are not emotionally ready to let go. This is a hard point to reach for many of us. Regardless of how we are being treated.

Have you tried Alnon classes? Post for responses from BrambleRose or Honey, both have attended those classes and been helped.

Your H's alcohol abuse to his family should not be tolerated. In fact it gives the abuser the message that it is ok.

Listen to Indy, maybe time apart will do you both good. Do you have an IC or MC that can help you? In many cities there are hotlines for families going through abuse. You might find someone to speak with there.

The fact that he is asking you to give $$ to the OW shows he is out of balance.

For now take care of yourself and your family.

Keep posting, many of us understand what you are going through.

L.

Sara -
Did you ever go to mc last week? If so, what was the outcome?

Been wondering and worrying about you....
DB

It was cancelled, weather, We go tonight. He probably won't go, he wants to try yoga <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> for anger management. Who the heck knows. My world is so upside down right now. Did i get to tell you that he bailed hoochy stripper out of jail. The disrespect in our relationship is enorormous. I don't think it will change. Seriously thinking about asking him to leave for a few days so we can cool off and be rational so we can make a decision. The next time he goes balistic on me that is what i plan to do.
What do you think??

I think you've put up with his disrespect waaaay to long. But it's not about what I think. It's about what you think, what you can handle, what is best for you and the children.

He's not around much, spends YOUR money on bailing OW out of jail (and who knows what else), expects you to change your own tire, clean up after his parties, what else?????

What exactly do you need him for???

He should be bending over backwards for a woman as great as you.

Maybe kicking him out for awhile will cause a fog lifting.

You CANNOT go on much longer like this. It's not good for you and it is NOT GOOD for the kids.

Good luck at counseling,
K

Seriously thinking about asking him to leave for a few days so we can cool off and be rational so we can make a decision. The next time he goes balistic on me that is what i plan to do.
What do you think??
I think that the middle of a fight (or arguement) is not the right time. If it needs to be done, then you should do it when both of you are calm and can talk about it. You can just say you thought about things and you can't go on with him putting her first and you want him to leave so you don't have to go through the pain any more.

If you need a catalyst, work out in advance what you will say and do and then keep to that during the fire works.

SS

Hi, DB and SS

Dazed, I know its not good. I am really looking right now, i think i almost caught them together last night. I passed her on the way to town, and he was two cars behind, coinsidence, i think not. Any way,,

SS
I have it all planned out. I guess i do need a cow prod, <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> catalist.

I am going to say. Your right i can't do .... what ever (its always something i have done) I can't do any better and apparently since this keeps coming up, its not going to work. I will get you somethings together. I will drive you to .... ( it usually happens when he is drunk) maybe a few days apart will help us sort this out rationally.

I almost got this done once before. I can do it. I know i can. I just have to get mad enough. I know if i can get him out, i won't let him come back. Like i have said many times. I can't live like this forever.

Thanks for the boost, yall are the best

Happy V-Day

I will walk off and get his thinkgs together. I am sure he will be so shocked he will leave.

Sara:
I don't know if you'll get this on Friday or not but just wanted you to know to be careful.

Did you go to counseling last night or not? I'm guessing not because you didn't mention it.

Good luck, take care,
K.