I have been home foe two months now and it looks like I will leave a single man. I really thought we could do it, but to be honest, I don't think I want it any more. I think the last straw was her leaving for a week with OM. I just started thinking of everything that has happened. It came down to where she's at now. I could forgive the infidelity but I can't get over the fact that I wasn't good enough for her to stop it. I deserve better and can't be held down in this emotional pig mire any more. I still love her and hope she finds the happiness she seeks. But I know that if she continues to look where she is she will never find it. I feel like she has stalled the last couple of days, but I don't want to be brought back into the pain.
My kids are doing ok, but I know it has to be hard on them. I have moved out and up. I pray it was the right thing to do.
Thanks to you all for the support.

CD

CD:

We were wondering what happened to you! Please, whatever you do, continue to post here. Okay?

It still sounds to me like your W is just too deeply into her selfish fantasy life right now to be reasonable.

Are your kids with you, like you said they would be? What about when you are deployed next?

Please take care,
-Qfwfq

CD-

I've followed your story and am sorry to hear that you're so discouraged. Unfortunately, it sounds like your W is still in the fog where rational thought is nothing more than a annoyance. Where are you with Plan B and the letter? Good luck and hang in there!

PS I just looked back and noticed your story started in October of 2002? Is that correct? If so, you're still extremely early in this whole process. Don't give up hope yet, follow the advice on this board!

<small>[ February 13, 2003, 01:14 PM: Message edited by: litchfield ]</small>

City,
Like you mine started in Oct 02 also. He moved out Nov 30th after having to be asked to because of his behavior. I know it seems likes it's been forever for you as I have followed your story, but it really has not been that long if you look at it from the perspective of what and how you have been taking this time for you and what in doing that has it provided. Taking her out of the picture all together, just looking at what this situation has been in dealing with you and within you? What has been the growth? What "newness" did you learn that maybe you never knew was there inside you? Have you reconnected to parts of you that you might have sacraficed because you were not looking at what YOU needed as a man, partner, lover, husband, father? Have you delved into what good this has brought you for the future with or without her. Why I am asking this is that, you love her, she is lost in la-la land, I'm sorry for this in your life.

CD-
<img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" />

You know that we are here for you.

Just try to hang on to your faith and focus on you and your kids.

My prayers are with you tonight....

CD,
I still worry about you, and pray for you. I am so sorry for your pain. I think you need to go on to be able to heal. I agree with your choices now. As mentioned before, follow your plan, don't waffle. You have thought a lot about this, now do what you need to do.

Again, I am sorry, wish I could help more.

SS

CD...May your healing path bring you peace, love, happiness, and contentment...wherever it leads.

<img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" /> Citydweller,
I am so sorry, you did all that you could do. We are here for you. Ladysing

sorry to see it ending like this. we all know what you've done, how you have tried. there's only so much you can do. some day, your STBX wife may be in a position to see her mistakes... by which time you'll be hopefully happily engaged in another relationship. you've earned it!

Thanks all for your help.

I don´t know when I started posting here, but our problems started back in Dec 01. She confermed what I thought around May-June time frame. She hasn´t turned in the rest of the papers yet, and I think she might be stalling now. But I don´t think I want to even try any more. I still love her and it still hurts to think what she did, but I can´t go back into that life. I am ready to move on and want to move on. Yea I still wonder if I could forgive her and work it out but I think about how I was treated and not just the A but in general and I think I deserve better. Not that she was mean (alot) nor am I some superhusband, But I am a good husband and want to be treated as such. I want someone to appriciate the things I do.
So when She took the papers in and filed I started looking around to see what was out there. There is alot of possibilities out there, not that I am going to like being single and dating again, but I can do it.
My girls are with both of us. she will have them the majority of the time and when I am deployed. (like now) We are still friends and still talk and do things together and I hope we can always be friends. I don´t know how I can do it when I think about what she did but I want to.
Well My time is about up so I will leave it at that. thanks again.
CD

Still praying for you personally. Still care.

SS