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Joined: Dec 2002
Posts: 13
Junior Member
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Junior Member
Joined: Dec 2002
Posts: 13 |
My H and I have been separated since December. At first he didn't even want to talk, now we commuicate via email or instant message. He's showing signs of reaching out, I just don't know what to do to. He never wanted to reconcile. I've tried everything in the book. I think he's having second thoughts, but will not make a move. Should I wait for him to take a step? He logs onto IM all day waiting for me to send him a message. What should I do? I want to try to work everything out.
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Joined: Dec 2002
Posts: 210
Member
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Member
Joined: Dec 2002
Posts: 210 |
Hello-
I would guard your enthusiasm. I made the mistake of getting too excited when my WW showed the same signs...Then she recoiled big time. Be loving but also have an
"Oh thats nice" "No big deal" attitude.
Make him chase you. It will be hard to not get excited but you can't show him that.
Read my WW Throws a Curve Ball and you'll see the kind of stuff that I got excited about then go rejected again.
Guard your enthusiasm. Make him be consistent for a long time before you ask him anything about your future
Make Sense?
Make sense.
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Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 17,837
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Member
Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 17,837 |
You seem to be doing the right things but you are attached to a slow poke.....can't hurry a turtle along so you need to pray for patience.
What about the txt msgs and e-mails is he responding to? Is he willing to read about experiences of others? Does he think he is unique?
L.
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Joined: Oct 2001
Posts: 2,755
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Member
Joined: Oct 2001
Posts: 2,755 |
Orchid- Sorry to hijack, but this may help others....
What do you mean is he willing to read experiences of others/ does he think he is unique?
My ws seems hesitant to follow plan of recovery and thinks I should just get over it. he says my self esteem has been damaged and he is sorry, he never meant to hurt me.
I am not doing any cheers for these comments. In fact I am angry that he doesn't try to understand my point of view more.
He is still stuck on his idea that our marriage was doomed and that is why he did what he did, ie, the A.
I hate all this.
I emailed him something today from another thread about the time and the rebuilding of trust issues, I think it was the thread about WS finally gets it.
I do have signs he is getting it.. but he has big issues stating I feel like a CIA agent to him.. wanting to know too much. I feel like I need to know more to rebuild trust- he wants space, NORMAL?
Please advise, I may copy and past on my own thread for more help.
Thanks, Honey
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