Hey Im just playing. I fugure a local girl like your self would help me out in any way and you have. I have just been missing your words of wisdom. I hope you are enjoying that beautiful weather.
Hey quick question. I told my wife in a email that I would like to call her sometime this week to just talk. I told her because I miss her voice. Do you think this is bad.
Thanks again
Danny

One more question before Im off to bed. As I read everyones story's I see my marriage for the most part. Do you think I shold tell my wife about this site or is it to early?
Danny

Hi Danny,

Local girl? Oooh you don't know me that well.... I have been at MB for over 2 years. I now qualify to be a local old gal! LOL! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

You are not the first H to miss his W's voice. Take a look at a poster named Indy, his W has been gone for 2 years and he still misses her voice. He is also in the military and is stationed near his family.

Unfortunately if and when you get to hear her voice, you may not like what you hear emanate from her mouth. She may not speak to you in a respectful manner and even though you crave her voice now, if it is not palatable, it may cause more pain. At least that is my opinion. So in the interim, it maybe better to save up and wait a bit. Hopefully until she can talk to you in a more civil manner.

As to you 2nd question about introducing her to MB, well MB is open to all but right now it is your safe haven for venting as needed. We are all strangers so some find it easier to speak their mind since we can't see their face!!!

I used to share some threads with my Ws peridically. Then again, my H was not anxious to read MB stuff. He thought I had joined a cult that was against him..... well most are against WS and A's.....LOL! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" />

Howz about sharing with her a book or 2. Then when you write to her, stick in the EN questionnaire. Let her know you took it for you and then you took it as if you were her. Thinkin' she might like to do the same (send her 2 copies)..... then you two could compare (another reason to talk)....

See work those needs in slowly. Put the focus elsewhere and still accomplish your need.

It has been a bit rainy tonight. Not sure how the TriValley area is doing. You know how us Californian's get..... a little snow on the hills and a few rain drops and we think El Nino is coming!!! LOL! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Just a thought.

take care,
L.

Hi Orchid. On my last thread I asked if I should send her some books and some said it wouldnt be a good idea right now. They seamed to think it would be a LB. I dont know I feel so lost right now.

I have been holding off calling her because I am afraid of what she would say. Like I said I have been emailing her but she hasnt replyed since sunday. I wish she would because my oldest son was sick on sunday and I am worried about him.

Well I have to go and get ready for work. What are some things that I can do or send (besides cards) to her to show her that I love her.
Thanks and have a good night
Danny

Oh one more thing. I know what you mean about sharing this site wiht her. But if she does read my post she will realize that I am changing because before all this I would never open up like I have been doing. Also I have been reading Indy's posts. I dont know if I could go on like this as long as he has.
Danny

Danny,

I still think the book, His needs/Her needs is a good one for all couples to read. After all, we all have needs. So I don't see this one as confrontational as the SAA. JMHO, though.

You may need to realize that there isn't a whole lot you can do. If you are worried about the children, then send that in an e-mail or make a phone call. Don't do any relationship talk right now. It will fall on deaf ears. If you read some of the other threads right now you will see that no matter what a bs does or doesn't do it is still offensive to the WS.

Realizing this fact may save you from expending your energy and monies needlessly. Unless you want more pain and lose more money, it is better to work on bettering yourself (emotionally, physically, mentally, etc.), be loving (caring for the family) and patient. Patience is the hardest.

I still recommend praying for a clear mind and a calm heart. You know how riled up the BS can get!!! LOL!! Patience was a major testing point for me. I also had to learn to listen and talk less. Even if it meant the WS tripping and stumbling a lot more. For some reason he wanted to do it himself, or fall himself. His need was that I let him learn his lesson on his own. Not always be his safety net.

So just like we let our children fall a bit but generally there to catch the biggies...... these WS' have reverted to an agen that we never knew existed.

Another note, if you introduce her to this site here and she doesn't appreciate it, it may be harder to bring her back here when she will appreciate it.

take care,
L.

I loved reading HNHN's. I think it might open her thoughts up a bit. So you think I should send it to her. Heck even if she doenst ever want to make this work atleast she could learn something. Also Im not going to introduce her to this site until she is ready. You made a great point on that.
Dan

YES! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

<small>[ February 25, 2003, 09:18 PM: Message edited by: Orchid ]</small>

Hey Orchid. Can you please read my other post Deeper and Deeper and see what you think
Dan

Done. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

L.