Kily,

I realize you're not posting anymore due to various issues. If you do happen to come here and lurk a bit, please know that I'm thinking of you and hoping you're doing well. Thanks for all the help you've given me these past 4 1/2 months. If possible, let us know how you're doing. Perhaps you can do so, in very vague terms? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Take care,
H_P

I ditto HP's comments Killy. I haven't been posting much lately either, but I still come to see how others are doing with their issues. Understandably you can't say much, but just drop in and give us a "Hi, I'm still alive and Kickin" type of message if you can. Still thinking and praying for you.

Hi Guys.

Thanks for thinking of me.

Things are improving for me, but not in the sense of restoring what is lost.

I've been working on building a new life for me, and things are really starting to move quickly.

I went to the house yesterday to try and remove some of my things, and yes the key worked, but the SOB had blocked the door with a wooden bar to prevent me from coming inside! Needless to say, I called him and asked hoim what the heck he thought he was doing....he had the nerve to ask mw WHY I was so angry.

I told him that I wanted A SETTLEMENT agreement by friday or I was moving in on Saturday. I then went to the police and filed a complaint. We went to the house and waited, but he never showed. A policeman contacted him later and informed him of my rights. Went to the house today and began to get my stuff!

I walked in there and felt quite a bit of the old feelings of sufocation and anger. The house was a mess and the walls were bare. It looked as if the person living there was completely empty inside. I began to realize that he was angry and blaming me for a lot of this emptiness, but the fact is, I moved out and the symptoms of the issues are still there.....

I don't want to live like that anymore.....

I'm still keeping tabs on you HP- I feel like we are family and I'm praying for you as much as I can.

TM- give me an update sometime. I've been wondering how things were going....

JL- I miss you.....You were so right about so many things.

I was right about somthing??? ALRIGHT! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Sounds as if you are doing well. I look forward to a progress report on of these days.

God Bless,

JL

Hi Kily,

Thanks for the update. I was very concerned about you!

Please keep posting here a bit if you can, I truly miss you!

H_P

It's nice to feel loved! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Kily,
Know that you are loved and thought of and prayed for. Me? Well I'm now taking 2 different AD's, wife has said she will begin looking for a place in March, move out April 1st (I still don't know how she's going to do it financially), we're still getting along GREAT (don't understand that one) and my IC tells me that my wife doesn't love me and I need to let go and move on. In a nutshell, that's it.

TM-

<img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" />

What are your plans? Are you still going to try the PLAN-A PLAN-b Harley approach? Are you just going to let go and move on?

Keep me posted.

Thanks for the words of encouragement. It helps so much to know that there are people out there who care.

I will be posting an update later today.

HP- I have some deep thoughts about you and you situation. I will also post to you later today.

Kily,
I didn't want to hi jack your thread, I've posted an update under a new thread.

Take care and keep your chin up.

Hi All-

I wanted to give you all a quick update into the ongoing KILY saga.

Quite a lot of little piddly things have happened and I remain in the same place I was the last time I posted.
After calling the police, I was able to FINALLY get into the house. I removed a few of the MOST essential things, but have much to remove.
Most of my things and my older sons things have been removed from the main dwelling and have been stored in the garage. There are still things
that we need to sort out, but I will let the lawyers deal with it. Other than the feelings of ANGER, Suffocation, Loss, and relief that I felt while in the
house, I am pretty much in a stable place with my emotions.

After all that has transpired, you would think that it would be easy to move on and not look back, but there are STILL moments when I REALLY want
to go home and make all of this work. Maybe I'm just fearful of what tomorrow will bring me, but we did share so many positives and it's hard to face that
this chapter in my life is closing.

I have basically stepped away from my efforts of trying to "win" an opportunity to prove to X that I am a changed person. In doing so, I have minimized
contact to the point where I only speak to him when absolutely necesary. I have also reduced the amount of time we spend "together" at DS's events and
when we are at these events, I try to avoid being near X as much as possible. I'm not doing this to be hurtful or vengeful, I am doing this because contact with him only brings pain to me. Any time I am around him, the memories and dreams resurface. He may have arrived in a place where he was able to let go of all of this, but for me, it remains. I think it always will be there, but in time, the desires will weaken and the pain will lessen. When that time happens, I will be able to resume the detached contact that is necessary for us to be socially "together" in DS's life.

Interestingly, it does seem to bother X that I do not want to be around him. The last three times that I dropped DS off, I have gotten definate reactions from X that I do not understand. I simply drop DS off, wave and drive away. When I do, I receive a call within 10 minutes from X. He consistently asks me WHY I drive away so fast without allowing him and I to talk.

My response is usually:

"I genuinely care about you and what happens to you. I want you to be happy. I obviously could not make you happy, so I have respected your choices and have stepped aside. I have done what I can to show you how much I wanted to change things. I understand why you've made the choices that you did. I can no longer spend my life begging for somethting that will never be so I've no choice but to move on. Being around you is painful, so for now, I choose to avoid the contact. One day in the future that pain will be gone and then we can be friends, but for now we need to settle the few things between us and get through this."

Then I end the conversation because there really isn't anything left to say. Am I doing this wrong?

One other interesting event ocurred on Saturday at the ice skating rink. It was DS's last class and he was allowed ti have one person skate with him. DAD splurged for a ticket for me to skate and we BOTH went on the ice with DS. For one small moment in time, WE were a family again. There has been a lot of anger and pain shared between us, but for that small amount of time, we simply were together, sharing a moment in DS's life. I remember skating around the rink with the silliest smile on my face because I was having such a great pleasure by being out there with them. When I came around to DAD, I simply said "Thank You, I'm having the time of my life". He looked up at me and the stress scowl that has been permanently fixed on his face completely melted away when he saw my expression. His expression was replaced with a very joyous look and he seemed very affected by that particular moment. He smiled at me not only with his mouth but with his eyes as well. He seemed to be Sincerely happy because his small gesture gave me so much delight. At that moment, I believed that all of this never happened, and we were STILL in love.....It was as if I caught him off guard and his walls were completely gone. A VERY bittersweet moment.

The lawyers are working on the settlement. I should have feedback later this week.

I'm so confused about his attitude on continuing contact with me and I hope that I'm doing the right thing.

Love to you all.