I've been doing some reading on this subject. Just wondering if any of you thought your wayward spouse was in this category?

Was interesting to see thatrage, comes quickly, feeling hopeless, feeling depressed, feeling like everyone is out to get this person. So much more.

I often wonder if my husband is in this category. Not sure at all. Just wondering, and he has some of the signs, and I do worry.

This disease, can be controlled with medicaiton. Can be assessed and delivered to the right person, the right treatment can really help. I am just worried about my family and husband. Would like the old husband back, but not the way he is now. Just a thought.

Faith- My WW is not like this but I have a very good friend of mine that is. He is a great guy but WOW he is a handfull.

He is being treated with medication and that helps but after awhile he builds a tolerance to the meds and they stop working. He goes into mental hospitals several times a year, has attempted suicide before and has been through more jobs in one year than you and I could in a lifetime!

If you H has this than I wish you luck. The meds all work differently on different people.

STTSI

I haven't followed your post lately but maybe he is depressed. When I was at the height of my depression I know I was very short with people. I would cry for no reason or get mad at someone for little things they did.

Is this your H? Maybe you could get him on some anti-D's?

STTSI

Hi Faith4me,

I've been away for a while and I just sent you a "hello" email because I didn't think I would have the chance to come back to the MB boards--but here I am LOL, so hello!

How have you been? How are you now? How's your counseling and group therapy going? Have you been able to see the neck specialist yet? Boy, I have a lot of questions LOL!

I've been thinking of you while I was away.

Take care Faith4me

I'm sad to say that my brother suffered from bipolar disorder.

Many other psychiatric diagnoses have similar symptoms, so be careful not to quickly decide your spouse has this one. I recall from my extensive reading on bipolar disorder that one of the symptoms is sexual acting out, inappropriate behavior of that type. Also, many people drink or abuse alcohol to mask the symptoms of this and other mental diseases.

Fifteen percent of patients with bipolar disorder end their own lives. My brother had it, and he ended his own life. He never acted out sexually to my knowledge. He was in a stable marriage and had children when he ended his life. As far as the disorder goes, he did become enraged easily, and just as he knew high 'highs' he also plummeted into the depths of anguish. These weren't normal 'mood swings'. These were periods of intense, productive energy that required no sleeping at all followed by depression where he couldn't get out of bed at all. He would lie in bed, in complete crying misery. He was also a master at hiding his disease. Many people he worked with didn't know there was anything 'wrong' with him. That must have taken much energy on his part!

It's a very disabling disease for many. Others are able to function quite well with the disease providing they are under active treatment for it.

Medication is helpful to many, but there's a Catch 22. When patients take the meds, it sometimes deadens their heightened emotional state and creativity. (Many famous artists and composers of old are now looked upon as bipolar.) Because patients don't want their creativity or energy stifled, they quit taking the meds. They go off the meds, and then the symptoms return.

The symptoms you write about in your spouse sound more like Borderline Personality Disorder, but I'm no expert!

Patti Duke Astin has bipolar disorder, and she's written a book called A Brilliant Madness that talks about living with the disease. It's interesting to read!

Hope this helps,

H_P

Patti Duke has bipolar, I didn't know that! I will get her book to read, thanks. What you have written, is definitely not my husband. But depressed, yes, we are definite on that. I just am not sure why he gets so upset so easily. With the slightest disagreement with him, he seems to get so mad and doesn't listen to what we have to say. He criticizes others, stating he is fine, and tells others that something is wrong with them. Plus, we all won't cooperate with him. There is the control issue. But there is something more that is affecting his personality. And yes, counselors have stated that husband is depressed. But he will not take medication. Says he is fine. Just wishing that he would act nicer, caring, compassionate.

Also, when I was looking on the subject, I didn't realize that manic depressive/bi-polar are the same. A friend of mine has a friend who is bi-polar. And this person is on medication. When this person doesn't take the meds, there is a significant personality change.

Thanks for the info.

Yet Again - well things are pretty much the same. Not much is different. The divorce will be over the middle of next month. Husband is still in a foogg. Getting things done for income taxes, which he has an appt. with the guy today. Been pressuring me, and told me to make a committment last week to have what he wanted done. But I was unable to make committment. And of course he got angry. I got the stuff done, and gave it to him. He was over last night, asking to tally up totals of this and that. Said, I wish that you would bring the piles of papers here, and I would file then. He told me last night that he didn't have that much paperwork. But then he complains he has so much paperwork to do. But of course, he turns things back at me, that I am the one doing wrong. I am the one who won't cooperate. I am the one that makes him feel uncomfortable. I am the ones that doesn't talk to him correctly. I feel at this state in his life, no one could make him happy. He stated to me that he is living by himself. Which he really likes. He has no one to get up to. He has no one to tell him to turn off the TV. He has no one to tell him to do this or that. He has no one to say, you are on the computer too much. He is living the life he wants.

I got your mail. Was short response, had very little time.

He was trying to I feel blame me for him living a single life. I told him it was his choice. I feel my husband is VERY depressed. He complains he has so much paperwork to do. I offered to have him bring it over, but he tells me there is not that much. Just like him coming over last night. He is so disorganized, so confused. Looking at the telephone bills, he said, he will do this later. The appt. is today. If he had done as I asked him to many weeks ago. I could of had a total on everything. But he is trying to keep me at his control. Complaining, I offer to help, then telling me I am not cooperating, and there is not that much paperwork.

But he wants our oldest daughter to come to his place and put stuff on Quicken for him. He asked if she would be comfortable working at his place. This irritates me so much, cause I asked him about 3 years ago to put stuff on Quicken, and he said no. And I am asking him now to help out, and he says no. I know when he is pushing me away, and he is pushing me as far away as possible. He is showing himself, and showing that he doesn't care about me and never will. I am in the way for him, and I am one that he can lash out at whenever he wants. I am an enemy to him. Nothing else, but an enemy. You know that hurts, but I am not letting it show. Cause he is a messed up man.

He treats me worse than an enemy. Which is what he wants, I accept it. Not willing, but having to. He is putting pressure on his mother too. And she got her eviction notice to get out. Now she and husband go to court March 3. I talked to her last night, and she is so worn out, and just wanting a place to be happy. Wanting to have her stuff out of storage, wanting to have a home to sleep in, knowing this is her home. Wanting to see her material items around her. She is a simple woman, who chose to live a sort of by herself life. She finds pleasure in purchasing things at garage sales. And all she wants is a home to live in. Husband is living in the house she bought, and it is far from done. He seems to not be motivated in getting his mothers house livable, or completed. This is not a compassionate man. And I find this troublesome. A man who loves his mother, would make sure that he completed his agreement with his mother. The agreement was, that he could live in the house, as long as he finished the house. That was in April of 2002. That is why there is something so wrong with my husband. I wish that he would seek professional counseling, a psychiatrist, which could see his depression or whatever else he has. Husband worries me quite a bit, and he doesn't seem to really care how I feel about him. He doesn't see the kids beeing severely upset with what is happening. I know some of their feelings, I talk to them and ask them ?'s. And they are very unhappy. All of them, are angry, and upset. I care so much about my kids, they are so intelligent, so caring, so loving. They each have such good qualities, and love in their hearts for a family, a unity. This divorce is destroying their hearts, and causing anger. I see the anger, and see the body language, the words. I wish I could have a magic wand, and make things better for them. That is the way I am. I am here to have a home for them. I am here to provide a loving home. I am here to provide them with food, even though I don't get money for the other 3. I am here to provide the animals to stay in this home. I don't get money for them either. I have to ask.

Yes, my husband is distrubed, psychologically, and emotionally a mess. Praying for him to seek professional help. This is so unreal. Have to get going, to physical therapy.