Well I feel kind of stupid about this but about a month ago I was approached in a store by a man who asked for assitance. He was trying to pick a card for his mother...didnt have his contacts in...could I read just a couple to him. So I go help him. It didn't dawn on me at the time but I was no where near the card aisle...plus I generally wear head phones when I shop because I am shy and I don't really like to make eyecontact. It makes it easier to just listen to music. People don't approach me as much. But this guy did. Again I just thought he needed help. Anyway I only read a couple of cards. He seemed very sincere...said nothing inappropriate just general chit-chat...my mom likes flowers...it is her b-day...etc. I go on my way. He stays squinting at the cards. When I get home I mention it to my husband. He goes ballistic. He says ofcourse this guy is off. He wasn't mean to me just generally worried that something could have happened to me. (I am quite naive personally...wierd because if my sister would have been in the same situation I would have been like: "back off my sister"...stupid I know)
My sister calls me yesterday and tells me about a guy her husband works with. He was arrested for sexual imposition. He asked someone to read him greeting cards...they lady went with him...after she read him the first card and glanced over at him...he was masturbating. His pic was in the paper...and ofcourse it was the same guy. Now he didnt get that far with me but evidently he has been doing this all over town...if not greeting cards then his line is could you help him read the lable of medication he forgot his contacts. So the police have asked anyone who has had similar experiences to contact them. I really dont think they can use what I have to say because he didnt cross the line with me...at least I was not a witness to it but they want to establish a pattern. And it is definitely the guy.
So I feel really stupid.

My husband was very sympathectic to me...and generally upset...I told him it made me feel terrible and to know that this guy got some sort of sick thrill out of this was even more disgusting. Now I know my husband was trying to be sympathetic but he said something that has just stuck with me. He said don't be too upset...you don't realize how many normal guys go home and picture you while they do it...like "Jon Doe" (who happens to be a co-worker of mine).
I was kind of stunned by this comment. It made me feel bad. It seemed he took this opporitunity to point out he is jealous.

Any thoughts?

thanks

ayslyne

You should most definitely file a police report. You can do what I've done (and goodness knows, I've filed too many in the last couple of years... 3 in total <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" /> )... I would type them out ahead of time. It gave me the chance to proof read it many times, and to make sure it said everything that I wanted it to say. When you go the other route, you are liable to forget something which could be deemed rather important. This way is also MUCH easier for the officers, because it requires less time.

That sure is creepy though, what you went through, in hindsight. I used to babysit a girl whose mum was out on a blind date with some guy. This same guy was arrested for numerous rapes in the area a few months later. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> Thank goodness, Lynne was never hurt (she didn't like him much, and only went on that one date. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> ).

Please don't feel stupid for wanting to help out someone!!! I personally admire you for being so willing to help this guy out (SHOULD he have been legitimately looking for a card for his mum). But you didn't know he was wacko... that's certainly not your fault. In fact, I think it's wonderful. We need more people like you in this world. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Karen

Thank you Karen...I appreciate your reply.

I guess I thought my husbands comment was a bit off but I am probably overreacting.

It is just stressful.

Thanks ayslyne

Hi there,

I'm glad you're helping the police--it's the right thing to do. The experience must have been awful. I know your H's comment hit your wrong, but it might not be as bad as you think.

My H teases me the same way (I work at a college with lots of 18 y.o. guys), and at first, it bugged me a little. But it was just really him saying that he finds me attractive, and he's sure that other guys do, too. Of course, he's talking about guys half my age, which cracks me up at this point.

In your case, maybe your H was trying to say that you are an attractive woman, and it's not your fault that this guy picked you to start harassing. I could be wrong, and your history with your H is different than mine with my H, but try to keep a positive spin on his comment, unless you're sure he meant it in a hurtful way.

Good luck with the police report stuff--you really are doing a good thing.

Martes

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">plus I generally wear head phones when I shop because I am shy and I don't really like to make eyecontact. It makes it easier to just listen to music. People don't approach me as much. </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Are you really this shy?

Susan,

If I am alone yes. I feel unsafe. In groups or with people I know I am much more outgoing. Plus my husband has a habit of pointing out "that guy is looking at you...etc." I try to avoid eye contact, socialization. I am fearful. I was attacked a long time ago. I dont think I have a good grasp on people's intentions...obviously not since I was clueless about this guy.

Everyone else...thanks for the comments. I dont think my husband was trying to be hurtful. He was trying to be complimentary. This whole thing made me on edge I guess. The police have been great though...women are coming out of the woodwork reporting this guy now so that is a good thing.

I must confess I really feel doubly stupid as I have a bachelor's degree in criminal justice. I guess I am book smart but lost in reality.

Thanks everyone.

ayslyne