How do I handle the thoughts that wirl through my head when i'm not around my wife. i found out about the OM she said that she would end it and that she only kissed him. Then about two weeks later I found out she was still talking to him (thanks to tape recording) when i asked her about it she said that there was more. She said she had bein having sex with him as well. Now she says she don't know how to tell him goodbye because the man is dying. She has said that she is avoiding him and that he will get the hint. Help me I don't know what i'm doing?

Is this man married, and does she know what he is dying from. Maybe the guy could be using this as a excuse for her to stay with him. People in the foggg... don't talk sane, and don't know which end is up. Just a few thoughts.

She didn't put honesty out, and therefore there is a lot of questions that you need to have answered. But before you can even think of getting back together, the OM needs to be gone, no contact.

This is a difficult situation.

SMH,

Sorry for your situation. This OM dying stuff, while it may be legit is still the wrong reason to have an A.

The way I would put it is to tell your W. If the OM is dying, then shouldn't he have the right to live his remaining time doing the best he can and live to leave a good memory?

Then say that having an A will never leave a good memory.

Then let her decide if she is really telling you the truth.

Why do I say this? Because that OP dying line has been used by some WS in the past. In a couple of cases it was true, in some it was just a bluff.

ex: In my case, the OW at one point tried to get the WS to think she had a serious medical condition (life threatening). Turned out it was gas!!! (well not real sure about the gas but it was full of hot air - LOL!! ). Imagine at the time the WS was really stressing over it..... YUCK <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" />

L.

Sever in your condition you know that this is true about the lover and with your w going to school to be a nurse it is a difficult sitution for her and you be patient because she chosed you not him.

So wayword spouse, you know that sever's W is going to school to be a nurse and has fallen for one of her patient's?

What are 'nurses' in training taught about becoming personally involved with their patients? Now the question of the nurse being professional vs personal now comes into question. In other words, can she really be an objective professional with this tendancy?

As for Sever's situation.....are you saying Wayword Spouse, that Sever's W has informed Sever she has chosen the OM over him? If so, what steps is she taking to make sure Sever and all associated family members are safe and secure in this decision? This is a well thought out execution of the family?

So OM is dying. Where is his family? Is the WS keeping others (ie: OM's family and friends) away? Is there selfish intentions on BOTH sides (WS and OM)? Making it appear that the only ones allowed inside of their lives are themselves?

Still doesn't seem like all the above validates an A. Especially if the WS and OM truly love each other. I would think that the WS will feel guilty for the rest of her life if she selfishly keeps the OM from others who may be his real family and friends.

Hm........ gotta wonder.

JMHO,
L.

sever_my_heart,
i posted to wayward spouce,you might want to read it.theres got to be a conection there.a bs and a ws posting on the same day with the same story,wow
anyway,
wayward,you said its a dificult situation for her(who ever her is),but its a situation that she created.your job was to care for the patient only in medical terms.not have sex with him.that wont help his medical problem.actually it created another medical problem.your husband now has a broken heart.thats something you can fix.

I appreciate all your comments they are helpful. Wayword I will be patient for as long as it takes. I love my wife more than I ever loved anyone or anything, this gives me strenght I said until death does us part and I ment it. I know she is a wonderful woman and I will always love her. Once again, thank you all for your helpfull posts. You are all loved.