Hey all,

Normally when you get back from a trip there is some certainty in what is going to happen. It may not be pleasant, such as going back to work, etc., but at least you know what is going to happen. In my case, I have no idea what is in store. It was with a certain amount of dread that I came back; back to all the crap that I left.

I came back on WWs BN-day. I called and left a happy B-Day message but she never called back. I sent her a casual email this morning making no mention of my phone call yesterday. To my surprise, she called me and answered some of my questions that I had emailed her. No serious talk, just chit chat. I will probably see her and our cats later in the week.

I know I said that I was ready to go into plan B, but something tells me to stay in Plan A a little while longer. Plan A, for me, consists of 1 or 2 communications a week. What can you do though?

It's coming up on 6 months of separation which makes me wonder where her breaking point is? I want to go back on vacation. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" />

<small>[ March 03, 2003, 11:02 AM: Message edited by: Luki ]</small>

Luki-glad to hear you are back, I hope you had a good time! As far as plan a or b, I don't know. As I understand it plan b is only to protect the love for your ww. If you still love her and the A doesn't hurt that love too much, than why not stay in plan a?

Glad to hear that she called and that the conversation went well.

I am trying to get a MB lunch together on the 12th if you are interested we would love to have you.

STTSI

Welcome back L! Yeah, I know how ya feel about coming back. The Plan B is your call and yours only. The 6 month plan A guideline by the Harley's is just that, a guideline, not a straightjacket you have to lock yourself into.

So how was the trip? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

MTD

When I left, I thought the love bank was just about empty. Nothing really hurt anymore. I was ready to go on with my life. But now that I am back, it feels like a wound re-opened so there must be some feelings there on my part. I'll stick it out a while longer, I think.

STTSI, I am still in a jet lagged stupor. Let me think about the lunch some more. I have been following that thread.

m_t_d,

Thanks for the shout out. The trip was good. But I'll be honest with you; there were moments during that time where I felt so angry at my WW because I felt that she was missing out on a great experience that we should have had together.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by Luki:
<strong>I felt that she was missing out on a great experience that we should have had together.</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Luki- I think it was Shootingstar who wrote that "a marriage ended by an affair is like a painting that has yet to be completed."

I think that is so true. It is a painting that one will never know how it turns out. Stay the course!

STTSI

Luki -
Welcome back, hope you had a great time. I know how you feel about coming back to the cr*p at home, that happened to me right after D-Day. I was at my son's house a weekend and woke up thinking "why can't I just stay here where I don't have to deal with all the sh*t back home?" But, of course, that's not reality. So back we go.

I was wondering about going on a real vacation w/o WH. Travel is something we've both really enjoyed over the years. You said, </font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> The trip was good. But I'll be honest with you; there
were moments during that time where I felt so angry at my WW because I
felt that she was missing out on a great experience that we should have
had together. </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I thought this might happen to me, too. Are you still glad you went, though? Maybe travel is just another one of the things that we have to get used to doing w/o our WS's. So sad, isn't it?

As for Plan B, only you will know when it's time. I've been living it for 2 mos. Sometimes I'm lonely, but I also feel empowered by survival w/o WH, and I definitely prefer living alone to living with someone who's pining away for OW. Since you're living w/o your WW already, with limited contact, perhaps you can stay in Plan A longer. If there is progress, then Plan A is worth it, right?

Well, Happy Fat Tuesday!! I'm off to make some muffaletta, yum!!

Lablady

Me BH 47
WH 48
Married 24 yrs
2 grown kids, S 24, D 22
OW 44 widow/coworker
H had 1 PA and 1 EA 15 and 13 yrs ago, D-Day 13 yrs ago
This D-Day 7/02
8/02-12/02 H goes back and forth btwn me and OW, promises NC 8 times
12/31/02 H moves in with OW
1/29/03 I receive letter from WH saying he still loves me, wants to get his own apartment to sort things out
2/10/03 I send Plan B letter to WH
WH still hasn't moved into own apartment

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> Are you still glad you went, though? </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Very much so. It was a great time. I think I am coming off the "high" of being away. Reality is making me depressed. I am trying to fight it but it's tough. Hopefully the prozac and some hard work on my part will pull me through this time.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> Since you're living w/o your WW already, with limited contact, perhaps you can stay in Plan A longer. If there is progress, then Plan A is worth it, right?
</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Good point. I have decided to do just that. It is tough though. I don't know if you have read my other posts. I have been struggling with feelings for someone else. I have kept those feelings to myself but it gets harder and harder each day. It's kind of like adding another 1 lb wieght to your backpack each day. Sooner or later yur going to stumble under the load.

Seems like there are a lot of big ups and big downs on this board as of late. I think I will joing the club tomorrow. I am going over to the house to see WW and cats tonite. We are eating dinner together. Here goes nothing.

-Luki

Not much of an update. Dinner was ho-hum. No R talk. It was a good opportunity to present my "changed" self, though. We'll see what's next.

Thats it , well I guess its better then bad news .

Is your heart still in this ? just asking , maybe I am out line but you don't sound so enthused

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> Is your heart still in this ? just asking , maybe I am out line but you don't sound so enthused
</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Yup, you are correct. My heart is not in this. I have done all I can and I am out of gas trying to fix things. I am not going to do anything other that take care of myself. It all up to her now. I don't much care either way, I guess.

-Luki

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by Luki:
<strong>... I am not going to do anything other that take care of myself. It all up to her now. I don't much care either way, I guess.</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Actually, this is the best time to plan A ... until you are ready to accept Dv then go to plan B. In this situation you are really be able to "fix" yourself w/o any influence of her action.

I hate when WS let A going to far to bridged.

-rh-

<small>[ March 07, 2003, 12:00 PM: Message edited by: redhat ]</small>