Well, after a good opening 2 weeks in February, I'm now convinced that right around Valentine's Day, something must have changed her approach towards me.

The first two weeks of February were probably out best yet. I saw her a few times and her visits were lengthy. No relationship talk, we laughed, hung out, and were friends again. It was nice.

Then, after a good visit on the 13th, I invited her to dinner at the house for the following week via email. No response at all. After the dinner day came and went, I wrote again. She sent back a very short reply, I could tell her email was different, she was very impersonal (if you know what I mean, those of you who have been there probably know this all too well).

Since then, I've backed down on contact but sent the occasional e-mail to W just to keep myself in the picture. Light things, jokes, comments on current events, and the like...nothing too lengthy, nothing about us, or about her lack of response. Yet she's been completely silent.

Finally, yesterday I wrote her because I am leaving for a vacation and need a piece of luggage of mine that she's got. Also sent her a few more comments and questions.

To that, I get a simple ONE LINE reply back, asking where I am going and saying she can drop the bag off tomorrow on her lunch break.

So, about a page or two's worth of email comments gets me back one line. And a very impersonal sounding one at that no less!

I'm convinced that for some reason, my W is headed back into darkness, maybe darker than since D-Day. I am worried I won't be hearing from her or seeing her without a really good excuse from now on, as opposed to our casual, fun visits from the past month.

I wish I could explain why this happened, but all I can do is keep smiling and hoping something will change, I guess.

ALS

ALS:

I know this is hard, but try to hang in there. Wait for Cerri to chime in about what to do, if anything.

Try also not to read too much into V-day. It'll just make you crazy. Something may or may not have happened. It's still not long since D-day for you, so it might have been anything that triggered this change in her. Maybe the A is heating up still. Who knows.

I wish you all the best,
-Qfwfq

Thanks man. I have been talking to Cerri about the situation today and she has some ideas. Mostly revolving around being more honest with Plan A, in other words, being a bit more forthcoming with my feelings regarding our relationship and how it feels when she doesn't respond to me at all.

Delicate, of course, and not a relationship talk, but just an honest comment here and there, rather than a smile-and- take-it sort of mentality. I mean, truth be told, at some point the constant niceness has to wear down just a bit and I still have to let my W know that I am a human being with feelings too.

It may not have been V-Day, but it is possible that OM and W are getting even closer, or perhaps that he has discovered that she was spending time with me occasionally and she decided to stop doing that to respect him (or he asked/told her to stop). At any rate, I do believe that if that's the case, it's out of my hands, and her relationship with OM will just have to run its course, however long that takes, before there is hope. I don't think there is much I can do to affect that relationship, it has to "die on the vine" as they say, if it is even going to do that...And if not, at least I will have shown my wife love and compassion in the face of the A, a dedication that I bet she'd be hard pressed to ever find in another man.

ALS

What type of advice has Cerri given you on this? Have you considered the possibility that V-day brought a surge of emotions onto her and she is withdrawing again just to deal with the unpleasant feelings? Just a thought, you would know better than anyone here. So how are YOU doing?

MTD

Well, I'm doing the best that I can MTD, thanks for asking.

I suppose anything is possible, sure. I mean, it's even possible that OM moved in with her and that's the cause for the sudden lack of attention from her. That would certainly put a damper on things.

Her email has just shifted in focus and tone, it was getting a bit more wordy and friendly last month, now it's one line and very cold/impersonal.

Example: I sent her a friendly, happy reply, about setting up a time to meet her at lunch, also asked her how she was doing, what was new, etc, and this is what I got back:

"I have no set schedule, so just let me know when you will be taking lunch."

And that's it! So I dunno, it's not a turn for the better, but there's not much I can do about it I guess. I don't feel her change in attitude towards me is due to anything that I did, but more just her change in temperature with the OM relationship. Naturally, if that is going well, or if he asked her to stop having contact with me, this is going to be the result. The only thing I can continue to do is put my best foot forward in the little time I do get with her.

ALS