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Joined: Nov 1999
Posts: 5
Junior Member
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Junior Member
Joined: Nov 1999
Posts: 5 |
OK. Here is the problem. I recently foundou tthat my wife has had a affair( or one night stand). This is the 3rd over our nine yr marriage. The two times before I try to work it out and I want to try again. She says she is unhappy and that is way she did it. She told me she wanted a divorce, but has since agreed to go to counseling with me.<BR> Can anyone offer ideas on way she would do this and how I can help her and our marriage.<P>Roy
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Joined: Dec 1969
Posts: 6,937
Member
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Member
Joined: Dec 1969
Posts: 6,937 |
One of the best things you can do, Roy, is to order a few of Harley's books. <P>Surviving an Affair<BR>Lovebusters<BR>Give and Take<P>Read these, and you'll have the tools to judge for yourself what's going on in your marriage. Your main focus now would be to eliminate all your lovebusters and work on meeting her needs (ones you've ignored, and that she'll allow you to meet).
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Joined: Nov 1999
Posts: 5
Junior Member
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Junior Member
Joined: Nov 1999
Posts: 5 |
K,<BR> Thanks for the advice. I agree I have to not dwell on the events. I try to give her what I think she needs but I am also worried about over-kill and her thinking that what I am doing is just to make her stay. I want to change permentantly! I don't want her unhappy.<BR> In a lot of ways I just want to scream my head off at her. And the other side want to hold her and tell her she is making a big mistake.<BR> She says part of the problem is that I am always right. No, not I think I am always right, she says the problem is that I am always right. So I don't want to force answers down her throat if that is part of the problem.<BR> I also read a lot about "Plan A'ing" and Plan B'ing" Can anyone explain this to me (or is this something I should read the books for)<BR>
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