Yesterday I dialed up the OM home phone to tell his wife about the A, but got no answer. In the evening my WW stopped by the house to take my D to dinner, and after we had a very good talk, nothing heated, mostly I'm sorrys from both of us for allowing things to get to this point. Felt good, almost close. Around midnite she calls me and is crazy mad. Seems the OM has caller ID and he recognized my cell number and called to tell her. She told me that I had to stop, the marriage was over, leave them alone. I told her that there was no message because I had dialed the number, realized that I was about to make a mistake, and hung up. Obviously OM is now pixxing down his leg that his wife might find out but the spineless dog doesn't have the guts to call me himself. I then promised her that I will not call OM or his wife, period. I know this is against most of advice that I have gotten but at this point doing so might be a disaster. But WW and I both know one thing for sure, OM is lying about not being worried about the A being found out, he's scared to death. Hopefully WW may see a little light through the fog in that. But I'm afraid I also saw a little light, too; my marriage may actually be over, a possibility I had been avoiding. Should I go to a solid Plan A, or am I just continuing to fool myself? Much help needed, please.

See my thread "S#@t has hit the Fan", I just let OW's H know about the A, and the OW and WH are hoppin mad, beside themselves. The fantasy world is crumbling fast!!
Yes WH is angry with me, telling me that now he hates me, is that what I wanted...
Anyways, I've been playing by their rules for so long, that it feels GOOD to stir things up.
I'm not sure what the end result will be, but if WH didn't give up OW, then it wasn't going to be good anyways.
This way I feel I have half a chance(somewhere down the road, if I still want it even) once the dust settles and the fog lifts.
I'm actually just enjoying the show for now. OW called me last night, furious, and WH called me throughout the day to spew his garbage.
But you know what I still feel GOOD!
I say GO FOR IT!!

Again the chances are great that the affair will crumble when the OM's wife finds out. Why are you playing by their rules? All you are doing is enabling them to live their fantasy affair. By the way call the operator and they will tell you what to do to call someone and not let it show on caller ID. You are making a mistake by not informing the OM's wife. I gurantee if the roles were reversed, your wife would not think twice calling the OW's husband. Why do you accept such humiliation and disrespect from her?

Call from a pay phone next time. Well, not there is going to be a next time since you promised not to call.

Note to anyone else considering telling the OP's spouse. Account for caller id/*69. An out until the last possible minute is being prudent. Even if you plan on not being anonymous.

This is probably against MB forum guidelines, but I'm sure there would be someone else interested in letting this guy's W in on their dirty little secret and if that someone somehow got some information......

Plausible deniability. Yes, it can be interpreted as deceptive, but I don't believe that one-sided radical honesty is called for in all cases during a heated A.