Tried to post this eariler, don't know what happened...

I tested my H's briefs for semen. There were 10 positive out of 13 pair of briefs. This from a man who shuns any mention of (self pleasure),,so I must assume someone did it for him..?

As I mentioned before I am going out of town for 4 days. I will test his used ones when I return.

Now he tells me that I must be really stressed out and may need mental help. and that maybe I should leave a couple days early to get some rest..this is all my imagination.

I suppose he will deney to the bitter end.

Danneill,
very ticked off wife of the man who is cheating with his dead friends widow.

Is there anyone you know who can spy on him / her for you this weekend?

JB

I would do it for a MB buddy in a minute. Even if i had to drive.

I am actually getting good at it. Maybe a new business venture. LOL school teaching is kindof slow this time of year. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Danneil,

Does it have to indicate ejaculation? Could it just be there as a normal function?

Based on all the other things in your other thread, I think it is obvious what is going on. Spending time with her, freshly showered when he comes home, blonde hair in his underwear...You don't need any more evidence to get moving and get something on tape. Please take some action and consider seeing a lawyer. He is getting away with this right under your nose.

The semen in his underwear does not prove any involvement with another person, the other things are HUGE red flags. I would knock off the underwear detective action and get something that involves BOTH of them! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" />

Ladysing, after going back and reading her other posts, I have to agree. This isn't a stand alone aspect. Sorry you have to go through this, Danneill.

A heartfelt thanks to all of you and your advice. These past couple months are probably the hardest times I have seen in 18 years of marriage. Even his drinking and rampages have been trivial compared to this.

I keep going back and forth trying to explain things...Maybe the blond hairs are really gray, and I just see them as blond..Maybe the widow really is innocent and just really needed his help. Since he has always been one to come and go as he pleases maybe those extra few and later nights were not unusual..but my gut still says NO! there is or was something going on.

I have not obtained anything with the recorder.
I did order called ID on his cell.
I did contact a PI and have a copy of her phone bill on its way. Now I just need to colaborate the phone calls and times..I wish I could afford to hire the PI for the 4 days, or had someone close I could trust to track him. I almost had the PI put a tracking device on his truck, then I chickened out.

This has been such a disruption that it really makes me angry besides the hurt...I started back to school last year for registered nursing. Mainly because our marriage was pretty shaky.
My first semester, four classes, full time I got straight A's, 4.0 even made the Presidents list...

This semester I started great guns, solid A's and then when this hit me in the face I ended up dropping this semester. I could not study nor concentrate. Later found out that as I left for school at 7:00 am, he was calling her or visiting for one reason or the other..

I plan to take another "vacation" soon..only this time I won't be far. After all he did say I need a couple days to myself. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />
Helpful hints are welcome!!
Danneill

Let me play the devil's advocate here for a minute, but many, many men do not view masturbation as something they are proud of doing in their solitary moments, and WILL lie to even their wives about doing it. This is especially if they beleive that their wives will take it as something personal ("Hey he's married to me, why does he need to masturbate?"). Don't forget that men have nocturnal erections, and if they have not have had sex in a while, it is very possible for the man to have a wet dream where semen will be ejaculated.

What would be a telling sign is if there was some test that would detect vaginal secretions on his underwear (especially if there is very little SF between him and his wife).

So be careful in relying on this sort of test because you may end up being wrong and create a problem where there was none to begin with.

2MuchCoffeMan thanks I was going to say the same thing.

Danniell I have not read any of your posts befor but I would echo what 2Much said. Try to go off other evidence.

STTSI

Well I am back from my trip. Worn out both physically and mentally.

Found a few more subjective items...undershirt with lots of pet hair both on the inside and out..hummm...he always wears coveralls..I wonder how all that hair could have gotten on the inside of his T-shirt?? Also found a couple blond hairs in the sleeve of his shirt. Not mine>

1 pair out out 3 pair of shorts positive for semen.

Also, not fact, but I was told that his vehicle was not in our drive all night Thursday night and was seen coming towards home at 6:30 a.m. Could or could not be fact. I don't know. Now I wish I would have driven home and checked.

He called her 3 times on his cell in one day, one call was 10 minutes after he called me..Probably wanted to make sure I was still there. She also called him 3 times that day..boy they have a lot to talk about..

Still no solid proof though...He says it's all in my head...
Danneill <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" />

Dear D,

I have been where you are. Listen to some advice from someone 18 months down the road. REALLY, lay off, pretend, you don't notice, take 50.00 and go to walmart and buy a voice activated tape player. put it where you know it will pick up his voice when he is on the phone. Works believe me. my h lied, (still is by the way) and the tape made him tell the truth for once. Semen test, not good enough, you need his voice, or a picture to get him to talk. But that will only work if you lay off of him long enough to make him feel safe, so you can catch him. you can e -mail me at somedaysara@yahoo.com if you want.
I live in OKLAHOMA< would travel to help, I would be glad to do anything.

notgoingtodothis,

What part of Okla?

jd

Danniel,
If your husband uses the excuse to go over there because she needs help why not go along with him. If yo don't want to do that can you get a gift certificate or account set up for a handyman service in the phone book. That way you can say honey shes taken care of you don't have to go over there.

If you can afford it, please hire a PI . It is expensive but he keeps denying it and it might help your piece of mind to know you ARE NOT crazy or imagining it.

(((((DDDD))))

Northeast OK, right by 1-44 and i love to drive <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Thanks for the offers to help...I have decided to take your advice. Gonna lay low, not say a word.

What bothers me is that he has spoke with his Mother and his close friends about my accusations. Like he thinks its a big joke that I could accuse him of it. I do have a recorder. He tells them that I am going over the deep end to think that he would have an affair with this particular person. I have overheard some pretty disgusting "man talk" also.

From what he has said to others I am inclined to believe he is innocent.

Guess I'll just not say anything more and see what happens. But it really blows my mind to hear him speak to other people about some of our more personal issues. I believe that some things should not be shared and it is very disloyal to your spouse to tell what I consider to be intimate things.

Hey you men out there...do most of you talk about sex with other women in a joking manner with your buddies? or are you dead serious when you make those statements? inquiring minds need to know....

Danneill